Rinse, Repeat by AmandaLyn

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Submission Name: Rinse, Repeat dots

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Author:	AmandaLyn
ASL Info:	18/F/ Centralia
Elite Ratio:	3.59 - 292/292/42
Words:	142

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Serious
Total Views:	376
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	917

Description:
I was inspired for this actually, when reding the back of a shampoo bottle lol!

Rinse, Repeat dots

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I'm crying again
found myself lying again,
wanting to go back.
I want to go back to
what I know is wrong,
it's in my comfort zone.

Rinse, repeat, that's all I ever do,
I fall and come running back to you
I have to admit I'm lost
everytime I'm pushed and tossed,
in every which way
it seems I forget what you say.

I feel like giving up,
can't do this any more,
walking the straight and narrow.
Only through your strength
can I do this any more.
God help me, I fell again.

Rinse, repeat, that's all I ever do,
I fall and come running back to you
I have to admit I'm lost
everytime I'm pushed and tossed,
in every which way
it seems I forget what you say.

Submitted on 2005-01-13 20:10:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  At first glance of the title I thought perhaps this would be a possible satire or humorous piece. What I found was an intriguing allegory into our relationship with Christ. The perspective was fresh and welcoming, although the overall feel was more lyrical than poetic, as though it should be sung to a pop song rather than be counted among Shakespeare. lol.

The meter was well written, and the rhyme was witty. I was only slightly dissapointed that there wasn't more to read!

Awesome job, Amanda!

~Amber (ToGodBtru)
| Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by Amberkins | [ Reply to This ]
  AMANDA THIS POEM REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE ASKING JESUS TO WASH THEM OF THEIR SINS.
I LIKE IT FOR THAT REASON AND BECAUSE YOU SPILLED YOUR HEART IN IT. GREAT WORK!
| Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
  comment #2 from me! lol...
Yyes, aren't these such amazing inspirations from which poetry comes from! I have read shampoo bottles my entire life and for the first time, you brought some real meaning to em! hehe...great stuff!
-Shawnothan
| Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Shawnothan | [ Reply to This ]
  only one suggestion as i read this over again...
you need to make this poem agree with your other poems like "look up", "from your father", and "covenant"...this poem has alot of meaning to it, but it ends abruptly...there is no climax, or anything that would turn the reader to think there was, therefore taking alot of the heart out of the poem and almost making it seem like a hmmm...i think its because you repeat the same chorus twice..I would rewrite the chorus for the second time around because it leaves you hanging on the edge at the end... I mean, there's nothing wrong with that..I have heard so many songs that sound like that, and they always trouble me, because in a way thay seem satisfied in turning from God..like "this is just the way it is...so thats fine"...I know you do not feel that way at all, but I know you could really add life to this and make it something that could actually point upwards more and encourage the downtrodden!
I love this poem...I know the heart that it comes from, and I know your passion to follow Jesus and live for Him for the rest of your life...
I am just rambling on, cuz my brain has been so so um...hyper all day, and my mind just keeps turning and I say all this stuff! lol...

I love your heart... and I know where this poem came from. Remember the "living water" Jesus promises? I think (and this is just a random thought...like the one you had last night!lol)
that there is something that we should realize when we need to be cleansed...when we feel that need. We need to realize that it is not us who "rinse" ourselves clean...cuz only Jesus can do that, and I know that when He cleanses us, we are free! Sure we will fall now and then, but in His cleansing, there is everlasting forgiveness and you are so right in the poem when you talk about needing His strength.. that was so wonderful a thought! I was very blessed when I read the second verse, and I think the reason I had so much to say was cuz I got a lil thrown off when the second stanza repeated again after that! :) oooh..I'm going on way too long..thanks for writing a poem that really got me thinking! God Bless You!
ttul~
Shawn
| Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Shawnothan | [ Reply to This ]
  funny i thought of shamppo when i looked at the title i liked the way you repeated the 2nd and 4th stanza it really went well with the title like that, i loved the flow to it, it read well and i liked the way you rhymed sometimes but other time not so. Mazing rite
| Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by rach_me | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the fast pace, the realness and the vulnerability you show in this very poem.

Because its titled rinse and repeat, you can be repetitive,lol

I like that way with sex too,lol

excellent write
| Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  brilliant piece. i loved it a lot, its going on my favorites. beautiful flow and metre. ( i have a true soft spot for well written rhymes) I enjoyed it and will read it more to find all the inner meaning in it, for i sense there is much here to see and interpret. im interested to know how much time you spent on it, for if it was little you have real talent.
-Q
| Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
  um...you kept speeling back wrong, you were spelling it abck...It's really nice, except, that got on my nerves.Other than that the words flow straight from the heart, showing how you feel.And the imagery is impressive
camoflage
| Posted on 2005-01-13 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]

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