You express everything so well! "We lay under the glittering sun Feeling the rays burning our skin Our souls are on fire and united as one Nothing can bring the fire under control" I feel you descibed this well, as fire can't be controlled and there's sometimes no way to express that kind of love for someone. Gosh. I acutally really liked the entire thing.
this is a great write, i always enjoy reading works with a lot of creative/vivid imagery in them and this one certainly had that...the idea behind it is so well portrayed by your wording, so creatively shown and lacking in awkwardness...you did a wonderful job, keep up the creative work, and i'm sorry that i don't have any helpful suggestions for you but it really is great the way it is...
This is a really wonderful poem. I love the imagery you use, it's so vivid. The final stanza was the best, bringing it all to a head and drawing it together. But really, the whole thing just seemed to flow beautifully. Well done! Great read. Thanks for sharing it
this is amazing, i really understand this... i mean, there is so much imagery: We lay under the glittering sun Feeling the rays burning our skin Our souls are on fire and united as one Nothing can bring the fire under control