Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paved with Golddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1746



    Description:
       This is how I feel some people neglect their lives and fall back into the shadows.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPaved with Golddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dedicated to the streets
    Humble to the night
    Caressing a careening darkness
    Sinking into the sunset's shadow
    Non-judgemental
    Non-violent
    Un-moving

    Falling into the waters
    Empty and shivering
    Devoring you
    Like a majestic recipe
    Swallowing things whole
    Alive...
    And you're running on the brick
    Surrounded by the brink of insanity
    Wallowing on the inside of you

    Testifying that you have stroked
    The appetite of the gothic night
    Foretelling the memory
    Receiving the prophecy
    Like a shadow claw
    Crawling from the womb of flesh
    Into you for strength
    Intertwining with you
    And you walk consistently
    Powerless...
    Hungry...
    For what lurks in those
    Dream colored shadows
    A black and white portrait
    Holding up your echoe
    Mouth to mouth
    Heart to heart
    Breathing in unison

    The feeling breaks apart
    Leaving you alone
    Without a grasp...for reality
    For anything but...black and white
    A gothic reality
    Hung on the mantle piece
    Of destruction
    Holding your fate
    Like an unborn child
    An echoe of vibrant mischief

    Alone...
    On your street
    In your city
    Lurking...
    Hunting....
    These streets
    And its weary travelers
    Gothic existance
    Begging for purgatory
    A night's swift slice
    Drenched in a shadow's memory

    Walking these streets...
    Paved with yellow brick
    And a night's kiss
    Gold endearment




    Submitted on 2005-01-14 12:34:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i always love what you write. wierd huh? It's almost like a drug addict...no? ones always looking...powerless...hungry...begging for purgatory, and whisked away into the darkness that he so craves. thats what i got...i'm probably so off the wall it's not funny, but i liked it.

    it's a shame that people do neglect their lives and get lost in the shadows...isn't it? how they let themselves go for so long, it's almost like they never were. thats a crazy subject... i'm curious micki, what made you write this? i loved it, but what made you think of it? anyway i'm just rambling now... hey take care and write me sometime.

    brent
    | Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      gothic doesn't mean like a goth in this poem I said it so that I could use a different word for darkness...besides black and shadows. Just to clearify that for everyone.
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting! I like the way you put everything so elequently! MY fav. lines are:

    For what lurks in those
    Dream colored shadows
    A black and white portrait

    I just keep reading them over and over again trying to get al that I can out of them. Theres so much meaning in these so few words! Awesome job, however everynow and then your flow was chopy but only in like 2 or 3 lines but It was still an awsome poem and that one thing didn't take away form it at all! Good Job
    Hannah
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Devils Angel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    42072

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The World written by jjd
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry