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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Through These Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 419



    Description:
        Just writing about being with someone, but not being completely honest with what the relationship truly is, or how you feel about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThrough These Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through these eyes
    I don't see the distance
    between us
    The hurt is real
    As are the tears
    But I don't feel the pain

    Through these eyes
    I don't see your flaws
    I still see you smile
    Though you are not here
    I see what we are,
    What we should have been
    But I don't see the truth

    Through these eyes




    Submitted on 2005-01-14 13:26:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem has a real honesty to it, a reality that I think many of us have or will experience once or twice in our lifetime. It is well expressed here...

    I did feel a little contradiction in the second stanza 5th line down... "I see what we are" I just think that although the voice in this poem is recognizing the truth, I think this line goes against what the poems intent is. Meaning it seems the poems intent is speaking and describing the denial, not the truth, through the writing the truth is revealed.

    Keep up the wonderful writing
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by Belle De Jour | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem really spoke to me. It is how I feel also. love hurts. keep writing. You have a gift. Try putting more dipictions of your feelings in your poems. Put your soul into it.
    -Oli
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      I llike how the poem is short. It's different with the type of felling you get from it, it's pretty cool. But I can tell were your coming from with your feelings. You never see someone falls whgen you with someone.
    Welcome to the sight
    Check out the forum
    D.Johnson
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by D.Johnson p.s.a | [ Reply to This ]


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