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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Starting Overdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Emma_closes
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 88/111/44
    Words: 297
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 897
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1591



    Description:
       A monolouge of sorts, written mostly in my head one morning.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStarting Overdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strive to be original! Does the piece make the reader use their wit to understand? Are things stated "poetically" and not spoon feeding emotions?

    I hold my head up and blink back the tears. Silently the day creeps by me. It is beautiful out. A gray sky that makes all of the colours seem sort of soft and mute. Like a quiet symphony of greens and grays. If I took a photo of this no one would ever think it was beautiful. They would see a foggy day, on an early morning, with the foreground of an apartment complex. This is one of those you have to bee there things. You have to be there the very moment the trees sway gently, the precise second the butterfly skips into the tree-line. To anyone else I look ridiculous, snuggle into my jacket even on this summer morning. And I blink back my tears, and I see the sky. Even in these last few seconds it has changed. It is now a pale blue, this amazing blue, I can't even describe it. I should really look at the sky more often. It's surprising the places one can find inspiration. Such a beautiful backdrop to the twisted performance we put on daily. And I'm just one girl, not unlike the others at their bus stops this morning, just another unknown face completely wrapped in her own thoughts. I don't know why I bother to blink back my tears, no one would slow down enough to see me, and to wonder about me. But I suppose it's the principal of the matter. I look at the sky, the pale blue sky and it just seems like something different. I look at the sky and I just feel like starting over.




    Submitted on 2005-01-14 23:02:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I get the feeling of longing when reading this piece. You have a good gift emma. I like the way your word in this piece seem as if they were made to live together. well, it seem that way to mee anyway. This seemd as if it should be a song with a video of a woman just walking along with thst far away look in her eyes and her auburn hair flowing in the wind. Vwry pretty words if that makes sense to you. Feed me more.
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, and I forgot. You are exactly my age. Join the club of extremely talented young writers. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were me. Now I'll shut up and go away! :-)
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      Honestly, this gave me goosebumps. I was at my bus stop this very morning, reeling because of a little run-in with my mother, and I thought those same exact thoughts (though not that eloquently). This was just so damn powerful I have to give you props. This piece is exactly why I love to read. Consider it added to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful poem, I think you did a great job with this!
    Welcome to EliteSkills, keep on writing! I hope to get a chance to read some more of your poetry.

    -P1
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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