Strive to be original! Does the piece make the reader use their wit to understand? Are things stated "poetically" and not spoon feeding emotions?
I hold my head up and blink back the tears. Silently the day creeps by me. It is beautiful out. A gray sky that makes all of the colours seem sort of soft and mute. Like a quiet symphony of greens and grays. If I took a photo of this no one would ever think it was beautiful. They would see a foggy day, on an early morning, with the foreground of an apartment complex. This is one of those you have to bee there things. You have to be there the very moment the trees sway gently, the precise second the butterfly skips into the tree-line. To anyone else I look ridiculous, snuggle into my jacket even on this summer morning. And I blink back my tears, and I see the sky. Even in these last few seconds it has changed. It is now a pale blue, this amazing blue, I can't even describe it. I should really look at the sky more often. It's surprising the places one can find inspiration. Such a beautiful backdrop to the twisted performance we put on daily. And I'm just one girl, not unlike the others at their bus stops this morning, just another unknown face completely wrapped in her own thoughts. I don't know why I bother to blink back my tears, no one would slow down enough to see me, and to wonder about me. But I suppose it's the principal of the matter. I look at the sky, the pale blue sky and it just seems like something different. I look at the sky and I just feel like starting over.