Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: fudge cakes and barnicle bunsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 701
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 862



    Description:
       don't mind the title, I didn't know what to name it. Later poets.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfudge cakes and barnicle bunsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every second is a countdown
    every day is one less you have to live
    Realization.

    I am leaving soon
    I began this journey when no one wanted me here
    and now I have someone.
    What am I to do?

    The clock is ticking too quickly,
    like a bomb that you just cant diffuse
    Urgency. To live now what I couldn't before

    Love envelopes me and before I was overwhelmed,
    I sold myself to the hate of this war.

    She is the only thing that keeps me from
    dropping this reality and creating my own.
    From releasing the beast inside
    that rattles his chains and shakes at the restraints I've bestowed.

    One less poem to write
    one less inner conflict to fight
    One less long night before
    I leave and be gone.




    Submitted on 2005-01-14 23:03:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this kind of reminds me of robert frost. very insightful and quite well written, it is almost transcendental. i loved the envelopes reference- i think it really pushes your point across in a most unique way. great write here.
    i liked it quite a bit.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, you do need to change the title,lol

    here's my suggestion, counting down with love.

    I really like the angst and the hope of wanting to stay alive knowing that you have someone who so get and love you the way you need to be.

    Very good write

    keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      EAS and then become a dependant.
    Nah just kidding, that sucks, but thats the Corps, everyone you meet leaves eventually, because either you psc or they eas or even now, eveyone is getting deployed. I hope you find your way,
    Jaymi
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    42163

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry