[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: fudge cakes and barnicle bunsdots

    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 710
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 862

       don't mind the title, I didn't know what to name it. Later poets.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfudge cakes and barnicle bunsdots

    Every second is a countdown
    every day is one less you have to live

    I am leaving soon
    I began this journey when no one wanted me here
    and now I have someone.
    What am I to do?

    The clock is ticking too quickly,
    like a bomb that you just cant diffuse
    Urgency. To live now what I couldn't before

    Love envelopes me and before I was overwhelmed,
    I sold myself to the hate of this war.

    She is the only thing that keeps me from
    dropping this reality and creating my own.
    From releasing the beast inside
    that rattles his chains and shakes at the restraints I've bestowed.

    One less poem to write
    one less inner conflict to fight
    One less long night before
    I leave and be gone.

    Submitted on 2005-01-14 23:03:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this kind of reminds me of robert frost. very insightful and quite well written, it is almost transcendental. i loved the envelopes reference- i think it really pushes your point across in a most unique way. great write here.
    i liked it quite a bit.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, you do need to change the title,lol

    here's my suggestion, counting down with love.

    I really like the angst and the hope of wanting to stay alive knowing that you have someone who so get and love you the way you need to be.

    Very good write

    keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      EAS and then become a dependant.
    Nah just kidding, that sucks, but thats the Corps, everyone you meet leaves eventually, because either you psc or they eas or even now, eveyone is getting deployed. I hope you find your way,
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Cover written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Brigit written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]