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    dots Submission Name: Frozendots

    Author: Belle De Jour
    ASL Info:    24/Female/Inside
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 335/367/53
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 904
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 314


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    watching you walk down
    the dim street
    away from me

    the distance grows
    between you and i
    and the darkness
    sets in

    i want to tell you
    everything within
    but i sit here frozen
    with fear as the tears
    do nothing but sting

    Submitted on 2005-01-15 08:57:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is wonderful. You truly have a way with words. I found your poem had flow. There were some things I would have changed but thats just me. Keep writing you are good at it.
    Blessed Be!
    | Posted on 2005-01-29 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful, poignant and sad. I love it. It brings home a feeling of utter devastation and grief - so fully enveloping you in its' steel band that you cannot move your lips to halt his step away from you. I picture a tear slowly forming and helplessly rolling down a frozen cheek, the only form of movement pushed from a very still heart. Leaves me breathless!
    | Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I interpreted this as wanting to say sumtin and let someone know how u feel but then u stay frozen because ur afraid of what they might think so the longer u keep it to urself the farrther away the person goes and the harder it gets to get out ur feelings for that person...anywayz i really enjoyed it!
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by rhen | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh My God! I loved this! It really hit home with me. I don't know how many times i've watched my boyfriend leave down the dimly lighted road, and just stood there frozen bawling my eyes out. We live far apart so he leaves a lot. This was short and to the point, and that's why i liked it so much. It was great! Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful small poem with alot of emotion and meaning. wonderful job. I have felt this way many times, but you put it perfectly into words!
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Frozen is the word. I believe everybody can relate to the feeling of watching somebody you care about walk away, both literally and metaphorically.
    It is certainly apalling to just stay as people you know leave. To witness their deaths, to witness how their hearts rot inside their chest, it is terrible, horrible.
    Congratulations for building such a real description, this is beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by A_xx | [ Reply to This ]
      i think we've all suffered from this dilemma, wanting to say something but feeling totally frozen and unable to do so. all we can do is cry, feel that sting of the tears. what we wanted to say comes later when it's a bit too late.

    the stinging made me think of when you touch that icy stuff on the inside of the freezer and it stings...

    short and concise and to the point. yeah.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This a quietly powerful poem, so many people can relate to this poem. I know I could as a teen,where I was so shy I couldn't say boo to a girl. Lucky for me, Now people can't shut me up,lol

    Frozen is the right word to describe this feeling of self-entrapment.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]

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