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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Another Pill (Revised)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 886
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 487



    Description:
       I agreed with all the comments I had on this one, I took out most of the rhyme and it seems to be more serious now. Thanks to everyone who commented on the forst one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnother Pill (Revised)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Another pill, do I think this is cool?
    against my will
    I am another typical stranger
    but once it's put before me, this pink piece of take me away
    I have little self control and so much pain
    another pill
    its really not as it seems
    I never take to much
    but I find myself in this place again
    it's not an addiction
    just something I always give in to
    maybe I take these pills
    to get closer to you




    Submitted on 2005-01-15 12:30:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I want to like this poem but i just don't get it. If it's not an addiction, then why is it something you always give in to? And what is met ny another typical stranger? Still I feel like there is something beneath the surface, I just can't see what it is. Maybe I'll have a (several) drink (drinks) first and read it again. I still like the majority of your stuff though.
    | Posted on 2005-01-30 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]
      who are you getting closer to? It kinda sends mixed feelings on addiction and pain. I do think you have deep feelings in this poem, but I think theres more that could come out. Good write
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by lindadoster | [ Reply to This ]


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