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    dots Submission Name: adam and evedots

    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/
    Total Views: 1222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 134


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    dotsadam and evedots

    The Devil dances with mother nature as father time wispers angry melodies. Across silent noise a posion leaks through hope. Reason

    Submitted on 2005-01-15 18:54:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is deep. so deep. that i can in a way relate to what you are saying. it isnt much but sometimes you only need a little bit of something to really understand more than you do if it was long and lengthy. very nice job here. one of your best works i think.

    Your biggest fan and truest critic...
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this as it is, but you COULD always add more. I'm an annoying minimalist who would probably like two words and consider it a poem if they were strung together properly. This is sort of like the corruption of Pandora's hope. You do need to do a good spell/grammar check on this because you misspelled whisper and missed a period.
    | Posted on 2005-01-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you could probably lengthen this poem with the stuff you put in the description. I like the whole dance idea. If I were you I would make some sort of allusion to Shiva, but I'm not you, so do whatever you want.
    Reason does seem to ruin things. However perhaps if we were really reasonable we could fix things up. It seems that just by sitting around and hoping things will get better we're making things worse.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]

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