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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: an Ancient Childhooddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: VanillaLeaves
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 101/110/23
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1132
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1656



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsan Ancient Childhooddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I watch the trees,
    as they finger paint in blue
    with squiggles of green and white
    on the translucent cases
    of my eyes.
    In return I smear wind
    in gusty blobs through the leaves
    of maple, oak, and beech.
    dabbing puddles
    of mellowed noon
    on their trunks,
    which leaves a residue
    of sticky yellow on my fingertips.

    Breathing each otherís air
    we lie like lovers, roots
    entwined with legs
    beneath a thick olive canopy,
    bodies pressed trunk to torso,
    skin parting
    in a shower of moss.
    I watch them
    and wonder at myself,
    a collection of frazzled roots,
    held by a weak wrapping of bark,
    lacking enough twigs and leaves to grow.
    I am a cast off of godlings.

    They are ancient,
    bordering on immortal,
    While I am prone to wander,
    unable to let my summer dreams
    fly from my body
    in an amber cloud of tissue paper
    come the restless days of autumn.
    Instead I travel,
    hearing hymns as I go,
    songs of ice coated limbs
    and stagnant evenings in July,
    melodies that seep like steam
    from the crevices in damp bark.

    What can I sing back to them
    as I guiltily scribe words on their battered skin,
    watching as shadowy forms ,
    charcoal sculptures of trunks and branches,
    waver in the smoke of a fire?
    I find it easier to remain silent
    and with lidded eyes,
    watch their blues and greens
    as we breath each otherís air.




    Submitted on 2005-01-15 19:38:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I saw vibrant colors and nature's intertwining beauty. Being an artist myself, I connected to this piece. my favorite lines:
    Breathing each other's air
    we lie like lovers, roots
    entwined with legs
    beneath a thick olive canopy
    bodies pressed trunk to torso
    skin parting
    in a shower of moss.

    great piece
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      I wasn't in the least confused by this, or disappointed, either.
    Another powerful write, Emily, The more I read of your work the more I feel like ripping all of mine so far into shreds and starting again.
    This has to be a favorite. I love trees, and I love how you portrayed them here.
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This one just blows my trees away. I love the metaphorical play of tree, persons, wind, art. It read like an art teacher's
    bag of tricks come out in the meadow to play.

    I think this is one of the freshest approaches I've seen to these ideas in almost forever.

    I watch the trees,
    as they finger paint in blue
    with squiggles of green and white
    on the translucent cases
    of my eyes.
    In return I smear wind
    in gusty blobs through the leaves
    of maple, oak, and beech.
    dabbing puddles
    of mellowed noon
    on their trunks,
    which leaves a residue
    of sticky yellow on my fingertips.

    But what I like most is how you present yourself as "all of it"
    because you are, and I love that idea. This one is a fave, thanks so much for writing it. *gorgeous*
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      this is masterful, really.. i have read and re-read.. it just seeps into me like merging with the ancient trees. the last strophe was brutal, i could see the scorched trees by mankind..

    really an exquisite piece of writing and is a new fave.

    @ peace&joy @
    !Cat
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      it is slightly confusing only because I think you vary back and forth. I thonk you have a great descriptive ability however your ryuthem might need some work. Possibly try changing the verses around. However it do see the promise in it, it has the beginnings of a beautiful outcome. Dont give up onit
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      Very descriptive, sound like someone has tree envy...I don't too well comprehent the line

    Breathing each otherís air
    we lie like lovers, roots
    entwined with legs
    beneath a thick olive canopy,
    bodies pressed trunk to torso,
    skin parting
    in a shower of moss.

    At first I thought you were writing from a very young tree's perspective of the older one but the more i read the more i realized you kept drawing refrence to the wind rustling through the trees. It's slightly confusing.
    | Posted on 2005-01-15 00:00:00 | by grigori | [ Reply to This ]


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