[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Leisure Deaddots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Prose/Depressed
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 990

       This poem was written to attempt to excersise an inner demon I am battling. Hopefully you can understand it's meaning. I realize it is vague. Some help would be appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeisure Deaddots

    Leisure Dead

    A monstrosity within roots my psyche, Entwining the poison unto myself
    Embraced the wound in fester, Devours all sane perception
    That which is constant, Is cast aside
    Chasm of doubt preys my fear, Incapacitating fluent reason
    The secretiveness of my pain, Allows no assistance
    Blinding of sight, No parole of forgiveness
    The actions been rehearsed, the outcome is final
    Destruction of trust, Expires the vow

    A promise, nay, a gamble, to begin anew
    A wary path, perchance a falter
    The hopes of another, The liability undertaken
    Expectancy of change, Remberance of pain
    Anotherís world is fractured, Brought down as scorn
    The desire leeches, It muddles my premise
    Releasing only, When riddance is wrought
    Angst of realization, Torture of hurt
    The final outcome, Divides my world
    Leisure dead in heart and soul

    Submitted on 2005-01-15 22:28:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this one had alot of ,etaphors and those seems to enhance the affect of any poem.

    I liked this poem it idk why hit me with a rather confusing wave of aww.
    I couldn't agree with you more when it comes to fighting your inner demons it is a lot of torture and pain, not only on you but every one that can get involved.

    Nice piece
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]