What are you on about? This part doesn't suck but I do think the other parts would have a hard time matching this. I love the title, and I expected it to be mentioned a few times, if not less, but I was gladly proved wrong. Now it may only say "machine gun eyes" once, but the rest of the write it centred around that theme which is why I think this "piece" is very nicely constructed. Very nice indeed.
You kiddos are so violent these days. *tsk tsk* Oh well - I blame it on MTV. Actually, though, what you have got here is a neat, nifty, and tightly packed little metaphor. It's not feather quality - I don't even think it is ribbon quality - but that's only because there is not enough of it. This passed by like some weird thought - you know, like de ja vu, but without the buzz - and then faded. It could have benifitted from something stronger; something to hold the entire thing together. What I need is the rest of this before I make my final judgement - and if it is as bad as you say then revise. I'm sure you could slap something in there. I could. Will you do that for me? For your old Eggman?