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Time is pining just like me im lost in love not ment to be i wished to spread my wings a scream "im free!' but it wont happen no sunset over my crymson sea so your bags are packed and your ready to go i feel like im standing on death row for the pain i caused you the life i owe its time for me to reap what i sew |
I felt the thought behind it, but I felt the poem went on the surface, like it wasn't the felt emotion. it was just actions and easy written. But I loved the thought of how i could've ended ![]() In the sentence "...Wings a scream..." I believe you meant to write "...wings AND scream..."? Anyway, I'm sorry if I seem negative I only want to help... ![]() ![]() | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by ablast | [ Reply to This ] | that was very beautiful, very short like you said but that's ok, i think you got hte feelings across pretty well. if you add more you could probably make it better but if you don't wish to it's fine just the way it is. | | Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by kc | [ Reply to This ] | |