Old Hill Cemetery by Poechick13

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Submission Name: Old Hill Cemetery dots

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Author:	Poechick13
ASL Info:	16/f/IN
Elite Ratio:	3.34 - 42/59/22
Words:	69

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	310
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	488

Description:
This is about a cemetery convienently located beside my best friends house. We have had many good times there. It has such a welcoming air about it. It is wonderful.

Old Hill Cemetery dots

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Lying there atop 'yon hill
Souls lost to all but me
They laugh, dance
Jig and prance
Yes, they do even sing

Waiting there 'neath the ground
Friends to none but me
Small stones, name plaques
Un-earth gowns of flax
To wear to the feast with me

Sleeping there beyond such tree
Relaxes a person, I
Merrily list'ning
To dead melodies
Underneath a starry night sky

Submitted on 2005-01-17 17:09:58 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I used to go to a cemetary, located near a friend's house, years ago. I always liked it because of the stories it held. All those people, strangers to one another and to me, in the same place...Who were they? what was their lives like? I would go and walk and dream.

I can relate to the sentiment in this piece, and I think that for the most part it was nicely put. The only thing that I didn't like is that you stated they were souls lost to all but you, only you were their friend. These are people who have relatives, neighbors, co-workers, friends. Those left behind still hold them in their hearts as well. I think that the poem, which was good, would have been much better if that had been considered. Still, I understand that you were just stating how you feel when you are there.
| Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]
  Souls dancing and prancing in the cemetery.
Now that would be something to see.
Never thought it could happen but you never know.

I like this thaught it was neat.

Peace and Harmony
| Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
  normally when you think of cemeteries you don't exactly get the feeling of "oh, what a welcoming arua this place has" but this gets it, probably mostly the :"Underneath a starry night sky " even though I'm afraid of the dark, plus its a cemetary, yet that still seems pleasant to me...wierd...anyway, with the piece, I liked how it had the kind of olde feel, but I think the use of 'yon' in the first line seems a bit out of place, I don't know, suggest a replacement, or configure the rest of the piece to align along that region. But its up to you, every poem is the poets baby, they see it as they want, and edit it as they want, as you want that is for this piece. Anyway, good write, funny, but I haven't seen a lot of cemetary pieces for a long time here, so I think its good to see one...anyway, keep it up!

~Anarius~
| Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
  I've never heard of a welcoming air about a cemetary, but the way you described it, I could kinda of imagine it. The only thing I'd reccomend is to work on the rhythm a bit, other than that I was great.
~Paco!
| Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by Paconess1006 | [ Reply to This ]

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