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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memoir of Reflectionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PastelSky
    ASL Info:    18/F/In the clouds
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 181/223/49
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1152



    Description:
       I read something recently that reminded me of a couple friends I knew in elementary all the way to middle school since I went to a Catholic private school (K-8th grade). I don't talk to them much now, and the weather and these pensive thoughts kind of drove me to write this poem. I know it's not the greatest, so feedback is greatly appreciated.


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    dotsMemoir of Reflectionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    California heat and buildings laced
    in streaks of sunlight, combing across
    the suburb ranks,
    bring back precious thoughts of a childhood
    (but thatís all forgotten now).

    A simple picture book reminds me
    of the campfire, don with lake
    and dandy fireflies;
    marshmallows roasting,
    set alight upon tree branches
    collected during the day--
    (how long has it been since then?)

    Another picture invokes me:
    Checkered skirts and polo shirts
    assigned as uniform in the private schools;
    People that used to smile at me
    are now among new friends
    (where are they now?)

    Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck
    smile beside some kids clad
    in free dress; a phenomenon not
    common in the school I used to go to.
    The castle stands tall, as always,
    behind our backs
    (though I had not paid much attention before).

    Iíve forgotten the little things
    that have painted my world today,
    awoken by a simple photo book
    brought on by boredom and the California heat.




    Submitted on 2005-01-17 23:07:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      WOW. what Some awesome memories you have there. You did a wonderful job with this and I love how you explained how intense the heat was with "California Heat" I know how it is, cause I live in california too!

    Its a really cute poem and it flowes so well, the thoughts you have in your mind that come out and go as a side thought almost and how simple you made it was perfect for reminisance (<-sp) And the simple times that you probably miss the most, i know i miss all the free time i used to have, i guess i took it for granted... oh well.

    This poem is so wonderful and wonderfully written.

    i really like this line.
    "smile beside some kids clad
    in free dress.A phenomenon not
    common in the school I used to go to."

    but maybe you shouldn't end the thought but keep on going, "in free dress, a phenomenon not..." cause to me it seems to disrupt the thought.

    Please keep writing!
    | Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]


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