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    dots Submission Name: Memoir of Reflectionsdots

    Author: PastelSky
    ASL Info:    18/F/In the clouds
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 181/223/49
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 992
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1152

       I read something recently that reminded me of a couple friends I knew in elementary all the way to middle school since I went to a Catholic private school (K-8th grade). I don't talk to them much now, and the weather and these pensive thoughts kind of drove me to write this poem. I know it's not the greatest, so feedback is greatly appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemoir of Reflectionsdots

    California heat and buildings laced
    in streaks of sunlight, combing across
    the suburb ranks,
    bring back precious thoughts of a childhood
    (but thatís all forgotten now).

    A simple picture book reminds me
    of the campfire, don with lake
    and dandy fireflies;
    marshmallows roasting,
    set alight upon tree branches
    collected during the day--
    (how long has it been since then?)

    Another picture invokes me:
    Checkered skirts and polo shirts
    assigned as uniform in the private schools;
    People that used to smile at me
    are now among new friends
    (where are they now?)

    Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck
    smile beside some kids clad
    in free dress; a phenomenon not
    common in the school I used to go to.
    The castle stands tall, as always,
    behind our backs
    (though I had not paid much attention before).

    Iíve forgotten the little things
    that have painted my world today,
    awoken by a simple photo book
    brought on by boredom and the California heat.

    Submitted on 2005-01-17 23:07:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      WOW. what Some awesome memories you have there. You did a wonderful job with this and I love how you explained how intense the heat was with "California Heat" I know how it is, cause I live in california too!

    Its a really cute poem and it flowes so well, the thoughts you have in your mind that come out and go as a side thought almost and how simple you made it was perfect for reminisance (<-sp) And the simple times that you probably miss the most, i know i miss all the free time i used to have, i guess i took it for granted... oh well.

    This poem is so wonderful and wonderfully written.

    i really like this line.
    "smile beside some kids clad
    in free dress.A phenomenon not
    common in the school I used to go to."

    but maybe you shouldn't end the thought but keep on going, "in free dress, a phenomenon not..." cause to me it seems to disrupt the thought.

    Please keep writing!
    | Posted on 2005-01-17 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]

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