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How dot' your dainty looks Cast its' grip infectious On my steel heart? Like a bandit, this cold january Walks slyly to freeze My warm breathe; And my moonmaid bar indoors... Now 'am left with warm thoughts As my only handy weapon, Whose weight surpasses a whales'. And my flintstone-like heart Could erupt. Just one deep kiss from you Which intensely will my sleeping Veins dilate; And with a glowing fuel of passion Rekindle our dying flames... |
I like the flow. very well done. so much feeling. I love the descriptions. I can close my eyes and literally see thie feeling in this poem| Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by ladyravnos316 | [ Reply to This ] | Very good, very good. I really liked the descriptions you used in this piece. I liked the intensity you put into it also. Very good work. | | Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by BloodyWords | [ Reply to This ] | I liked this.. at first I was really lost cause it didn't seem to flow from line to line... and I don't mean flow as in rhyme I mean as in make sense but then i read it again and it made perfect sense to me.. this was good. I like your style of writting... I can't wait to read more of your stuff it seems really cool. the subject for this was really appropriate because after reading it twice I saw the passion for another person. your words were well choosen and it made the poem awesome. cool. | | Posted on 2005-01-18 00:00:00 | by bleedbroken | [ Reply to This ] | |