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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Independent Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ace
    ASL Info:    17/m/In Hell
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 305/336/56
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 964



    Description:
       does it matter


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIndependent Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death at your doorstep,
    One knock too many,
    You prolong it,
    As it breathes down your neck,
    The chill so heavenly,
    Did you live to the fullest?
    Or die empty,
    Ill tempers flaring,
    In your heart and mind,
    The life you didnt live,
    The wasted time in your body,
    This complicates you,
    In every way you hate,
    But the answer to your questions of death,
    Only to be answered in life,
    Was it worth it?
    Worth the time,
    You wasted your life,
    And now its to late,
    You learned to slow,
    And an eternity of solitude,
    Could be the end,
    Or a blissful start,
    To this, to live,
    Just live life every day,
    As it was the last,
    Just over and over,
    Youll think,
    And always,
    Regret,
    Every thing you,
    Dont love.

    The end of the beginning now?




    Submitted on 2005-01-18 19:42:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Agh! This was good. I enjoyed it. It reminded me of my piece "Death Knocks".
    Although I think and believe that yours had a much better fow to it. You conveyed the message across in amore simplistic way. Painted a clear picture. Whereas I believe readers had to wade through a swamp to understand mine.
    ~BCute
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good and as I see with alot of your poems has a very powerful ending...it's like you lay out the emotions and blow me away with the end.Awesome talent...awesome words
    Peace
    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Like Brandy said i think this is really powerful and like i have said before i like to read about ppls feelings. i DONT understand the symbols either. Well i really liked this write
    RandiKae
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by RandiKae | [ Reply to This ]
      it's good. but you need to check your spelling. when you say too as in also, it's spelled with two o's. to me, the whole teen angst/teen depression thing is getting old, but that's just my opinion. i like how you don't try to use big words and you keep this poem somewhat simple and i understand exactly how you're feeling. i don't like to give too (see? lol) much detail in my poetry because i like to let the readers use their imagination, however there are other things that i've written that use terrific imagery and great detail (and i mean those words to mean 'quite a bit', not as in complimenting my own work).
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]



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