Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Saltydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: reid kat
    ASL Info:    27/f/Co
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 279/196/34
    Words: 357
    Class/Type: Poetry/Them
    Total Views: 1396
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2257



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSaltydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Don't want to have me.
    If you had me, you wouldn't want me.
    Just want me.

    Beaches are cold during the winter.
    It should be winter more often,
    it's more, original.

    People don't like it, but I do.
    Only people who love it, go there.

    Cold sand stings.. it's not a pleasant place to stay.
    Winds chase and there's always the fact, that I don't have a jacket.

    Dragging your feet, makes it harder to leave.
    Maybe you drag your feet, because it's harder to leave.

    I like sunsets. They still look the same when the sand is cold.
    Sunrises have attitude.

    Beginnings always have more life than ends.

    Cold sand wouldn't seem like a very appealing thing, except that you can't feel your feet or where you're going.

    There's always biting water that will nip at my ankles. Or snap. And seagulls squawk because I'm the intruder.

    Maybe the sea gulls squawk because they're saying Hello. Maybe they're just as lonely as I am.

    I found some pretty shells.
    They were all broken.

    Unusual things happen when the sand is cold.

    The sea spray caught my face, and I know it was completely intentional.

    And the remnant of a child's curiosity,
    urged me to lick my lips.

    I savored its taste in the same moment that I spat it out.
    Sharp and Bitter and.. Salty
    Salt tastes good, it's almost.. Sweet.

    Oceans feel cold, but only when the sand is.
    The sand isn't cold enough to clear my mind,
    maybe the water is.

    It would take my breath away..
    There's no lifeguards when the sand is cold.

    I don't like sunsets, I like stars.
    Stars only shine after the sunset has gone.



    The beach is only pretty
    when the sand is cold
    before the day begins.


    I hate the beach, but cold sand and sea spray makes me.. mmm








    Submitted on 2005-01-19 19:29:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i dont like the beach very much when it is too warm and i like the stars better aswell
    sometimes the winter time is good and sometimes it is bad but usualy good. i like to pretend like i dont know how cold it is outside and jsut dress in whatever and act like i didnt know and try to go along with it. i like the sound it makes when i scuff my feet through the sand
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by locke | [ Reply to This ]
      i still love your writting...beautiful...this is how my brother writes...or at least the same style...don't remeber what it's called..but you have a topic than set a moment but don't write about one thing for more than two lines...it's not exactly like that...but i think it suits what your feeling.
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by playing card | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one a lot. I can't say exactly why, but I definitely like the format. It's original and unique. Nicely done. The wording was good, so was the imagery. It was real too. Most of the time when people are just thinking about everything and nothing, that's what their thought process is like.
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful writing, Reid. I love the style you use here, an unaimed trail of thoughts, but with a sort of logical succession to them.

    I don't see why anyone else didn't say this, but this poem just leaves me with a sense of mystery. It seems to leave a few questions unanswered, though I don't know what they are.

    Beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-01-20 00:00:00 | by Eloen | [ Reply to This ]
      holy caca i really really like that! it was so friggin relaxing to read :) i have just a couple of critiques: get rid of alot of your commas, many of them don't seem to belong; "There's no lifeguards" should either be "there's no lifeguard" or "there are no lifeguards". that's it. beautiful read ;)
    | Posted on 2005-01-20 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing work...so original and unique. well written and, well, just damn beautiful. Great job. Never walked in cold sand myself...but barefoot in the snow...not really a comparison though...the only thing you think of walking barefoot in the snow is getting some boots on! LOL Great work!
    | Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by pyrestarter | [ Reply to This ]
      My God that was brilliant. It is so unique. I've never read anything like it. It had so many ideas that I had never thought of...like liking the beach only when the sand and water were cold. Very good! Definately going on my favourites list.
    | Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very good. i can't remember the last time i read something here (aside from the work of a few writers i know alreadly) and thought, wow. this is so alive.. every word is calling..

    i love this line:

    Cold sand wouldn't seem like a very appealing thing, except that you can't feel your feet or where you're going.

    brilliant. a fav!
    | Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by wilderness | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I have to say that this piece is very original. I like finding differant styles, and this one is nice. It gave me the image of some wise old rambling beach bum, what is being said is so genuine, and from the heart. I have a poem , "the drunkard at seas edge" and it's got a cold beach in it as well. gulls too. Anyway, Cool work. Very original
    | Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by Ratmeat | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    42862

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry