Last Time -------------------------------------------
I gently slid my fingers through his long silky hair
The smoothness kissed the tips of my fingers
–Soft
Gazing into his dark eyes
Lit up with a fire
–Twinkle
I caressed his face
His skin so fair
–Handsome
He threw his arms around me one last time
So strong and big
–Warm
A tear rolled down my cheek
As we reached the fork in the road
–Goodbye
This was sweet. It had a lot of descriptions and feelings in it that people tend to associate with romance poems that are more errotic, and it was refreshing to read that this one really wasn't. I also really loved the contrast between him being so soft and fair, and then becoming big and strong as he wrapped his arms around you. Basically, this was just really fun to read.
But I would be a bad person if I didn't come up with some ridiculous nitpick, so I think the only change I would make is instead of hyphenating those words, I think they should be played down a bit more by either italicizing or parentheses.
it seems that whenever I read a poem containing some type of "fork in the road" I can't help but be put in mind of that classic Robert Frost poem, although this has little to do with that. Or then again maybe a little more than I at first thought.
It has the feel of a mutual break-up. A good-bye amongst two people who had wished things would have went differently but are resigned to their fate.
I think you did a great job conveying the sadness in the air at such a moment.
Also I liked the hyphenated words that kind of lead us into the following stanza's. Kind of like a prologue.
Yeah i really like the "fork in the road" ...Its easy to say that i relate to this ...i think most people can ...Because it expressed alot of situations ...I always find myself in awe at poems that have simple wording ...dont go on forever ...just kinda say what they need in a really powerful way ...I think that you really got that through ..without all the poetic fluff included ...I loved it ...great Job
Hey there. This is short, but very simple. I love poems that rely heavily on the simplicity of words. Emotions can be complicated. Often times I think some writers become so overwhelmed by the plethora of words at their feet, that they forget that a little goes a long way. And a few words can say something, that a million more cannot.
This piece is a great example of that. The idea of letting go of someone (or something) is a hard subject to write on, since it's written on quite often. But you managed to say something that sticks in the mind of the person who reads it.
I like the concept of the fork in the road. Life is all about choices. And all about change as well. If I had a nickel for every time I've had to make a decision or deal with some sort of big change, I'd ber very rich. Ther key is to embrace the changes in life and learn to thrive in those changes. And in the case of this poem, the loss of someone whom you hold dear to your heart is never an easy thing to face. But it's always a stepping stone. For every hardship in life, there is a happy return that is ten times better and well worth the wait.
I really enjoyed this piece my dear. Much love to ya.
Submission Name: Last Time
