The Elements

Author: runedot Elite Ratio:    5.07 - 46 /45 /14 Words: 74

Class/Type: Poetry / Total Views: 899 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 605

Description:

---

The Elements

---

The eternal Sun, Warmth and life, A stinging heat, Hot and burning, A life giving and taking force. The unending Wind, Cool and caressing, A vibrant energy, Nudging and pushing, An encouraging and deterring force. The endless Tides, Coming and going, A natural rhythm, Coming and going, An eerie pulse of the Mother-Sea. The immortal Mountains, Gentle and taunting, A surmountable task, Cruel and unyielding, A stretched finger of the Father-Earth.

Submitted on 2005-01-21 03:21:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

I like your descriptions of each of the elements...what I'd have taken a whole A4 page to do you have summarised very neatly. I particulary liked the last lines: 'A stretched finger of the father earth' You can almost imagine the earth lifting a finger and beckoning to you...very nice piece of writing.

| Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]

It feels like there should be so much more to say, but you summed up each element at the end of each stanza. I like that you have named the sea "Mother" but not sure where you get "Father" for earth. All things of nature are born of the earth, so to me that makes earth female. As is "Mother Nature". Damn! I think I just put myself down a notch. Nice write.

| Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]

These are nice descriptions of the different parts of the earth. I especially like "The immortal mountains, Gentle and taunting,"...as if they cause no threat, but their very being taunts you to climb...or survive them. I like that image. "An eerie pulse of the Mother-Sea." That's a good one too...very much the idea of the Ocean as a fertile place, but in a way that humans can't quite get a handle on...nice image. I like this piece...you have powerful imagery throughout.

| Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

43073