Looking Through by the apocrypha

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Submission Name: Looking Through dots

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Author:	the apocrypha
Elite Ratio:	3.37 - 185/192/48
Words:	65

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	945
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	491

Description:
Don't really know how to describe this. Written a week ago or so...

Looking Through dots

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This world
This world, a bubble
This world
This world's probable
Demise
Will follow
Soon
Demise will swallow
This world

...a river of tears
And an eye that can't see
This world's complexity
This world and its lies
This world

This world, a deep, primal cry
A womb, a tunnel
Of blinking lights
This world is a barrel
Of a gun that fires

Submitted on 2005-01-21 05:38:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I quite like it actually...And i dont think that you have hidden anything in it ...I think that you say exactly what you think this world is ...Its got a really nice and natural flow to it too ...the way you have set it out just makes the words hit home a little more...I thought it was great ...Good Job
| Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
interesting, I don't think that its exactly perfectly clear what your implying that this world is, but maybe thats the point, it opens up a most interesting field of speculation that I have maybe not so naturally have not
previously got into very deeply.
Good job though, sometimes feelings just burble out, and the end prodect is either good or a crap load of rambles, but this was pretty good, maybe jsut a bit more clarifaction on what you are saying what the world is. either then that...good good..

~Anarius~
| Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.