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    dots Submission Name: Death of a Teddybeardots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 942
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 435

       I didn't get any comments on this and i really wanted to know what you guys thought, like I said before the bear represents a relationship and the ribbon represents a cut and the death of the teddybear, the death of the relationship.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath of a Teddybeardots

    lying on the floor
    my teddybear
    something I never saw
    or did I ever care
    red and wrapped around his kneck
    it must be suffocating
    I must have missed this
    it's intoxicating
    lying on the floor
    in ribbon and crimson red
    is this a bow tie ?
    or is this teddy dead ?

    Submitted on 2005-01-21 12:46:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have decided to share with you a short story about my teddy bear that passed away...it had a "Que Huevos" shirt and a hat that said
    "No fvckin Tequila, No Fvckin Work" on it. I of coarse supplied this teddy with these items...it all happened on a cold Sunday afternoon...it was an afternoon I'd never forget...
    But I think actually that's as far as I'm gonna go with this. Nice poem I read the description but I like the way this sounds in a literal sense more. It's funnier to me, and if it makes me smile then it's worth reading...anyways...
    The Saint
    Get Tough!
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by Lil_Santo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is kind of sad but it does have meaning. I think I understand it but I'm not completely sure. It's short but good. I liked it. I've never read anything like this. I like how you used the teddy bear in this.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by sarahthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great i like your train of thought
    i must comment yopu on your comments on broken toy this is a good story its about everybodies children who get denied the love of their parents I commend you on yhe part about power my power is poetry I can touch many people with words and your write i am not a powerful person who denies anyone love all my poems are written from what i see and hear Your writings are good as well
    Thanx Sandman
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent metaphor. Not sure about the structure, though. Nonetheless, it is very thought-provoking and I really can't believe nobody commented before. Well, actually I can. :-) Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was excellent. I cant believe no one commented before. This is really reallt good you've got some very good ideas and i'll look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by Broken Dreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome! I have never seen a poem written like this. I love the whole teddy bear thing. Is there some kind of hidden meaning behind this piece. I really liked this. Very good work.
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by BloodyWords | [ Reply to This ]

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