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    dots Submission Name: i hate myselfdots

    Author: wildchild
    ASL Info:    19/f/northwest
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 307/268/27
    Words: 287
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 1413
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1576

       i'm having a very *interesting* day. i need to rant and get it out before i completely explode.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi hate myselfdots

    do you ever get one of those days where you just hate yourself and everything around you? where everyone seems out to get you and is planning your demise? where nothing goes right and you feel like a complete moron?

    i think everyone has had days like this or something similar. i just wish they didn't happen to me so often. i often feel like if god thinks i'm getting too happy he thinks to himself, "hmm, jess seems to be getting into high spirits, i think we should totally ruin her life!"

    i think he does the same thing when i actually get off my high horse to ask him for something, like help. i think it amuses him to hear my prayers; he probably laughs at me every time he hears from me.


    it sounds like i'm blaming god for all my problems, but i'm not. i've got nothing against god, he's got a job to do and he does it well. maybe i'm the next Job -you know, the guy from the bible that god curses to test his faith- except i don't think i'll be able to handle it quite so gracefully. in fact, i don't think i'll be able to handle it at all.

    great, now it sounds like i'm suicidal. i'm not, by the way. crap, if i get any sympathy letters telling me how they can relate with me and tell me they went through the exact same thing, i'm gonna scream. sure, you may know how much life sucks today but i don't wanna hear it. i'm going to be selfish and i'm going to feel all alone in this world.

    Submitted on 2005-01-21 18:54:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's okay to be selfish when your sad.

    No problem with that, I always am.
    Won't say anything about it, I hate it and I know you will.

    Don't be sad, ever, you sound like a girl that would smile all the time, and it means something is really wrong when you frown.

    Don't worry!! Everything will be okay, good things happen, and I'm sure you probably got over this one soon enough, because you seem so happy-minded and positive.

    Full of energy and smiles, I wish I could be. What the hell? I am!
    C-ya later! Keep writing - it helps!

    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      You know what I enjoyed about being a teenager ( not that it was that long ago) I was a "young adult" Everything was new I Had not yet burned everything out. I discovered all the good music I would listen to for the rest of my life. I learned that I loved to wright. All this cool stuff that to every one else is old, to me it was still fresh and done in good taste. And as the years went buy things lose there freshness. A word of advice dont ever harden your heart to where everything looks the same. dull.......gots to go.... Joshua
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
      You know what? I will give you no sympathy what-so-ever because I honestly believe that is not what you need, what you need is a friend who you can tell everything to, one that won't turn around and say, "Yeah, well, guess what happened to ME?" You need a person that will sit there and listen and throw in a few words when words are needed. A good ramble companion. I sometimes just sit and talk to my cat, tell Pheonix(who is black and white, no clue why his name is Pheonix) everything that is pissing me off. He is a great listener...until he gets tired of me and walks away. But still, you need a Pheonix.

    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by I Exsist | [ Reply to This ]
      i suppose this is the epitome of teen angst!

    you ever watch Joan of Arcadia?

    this girl who sees God, and he tells her to do stuff, and he seemingly messes up her life, but then at the end of the episode, she learned a valuable lesson, and stuff?

    if this helped you vent, great.
    but I hope you don't really feel this way, don't hate yourself! that's for all the @$$holes with sumthing against you to do!


    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great...but why hate yourself?? I think your just feeling teen angst, and it isn't working hun. No offense, I mean this makes sense...maybe to me...I have tried to kill myself three times...and I can't stop...A lot of people told me when I was smaller that I was useless and they would bully me and well It grew in my head how ridiculous I am... So I know what it is to hate yourself...all the therapy in the world can't get that fact out of my head...so stop thinking it...
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Lauren Guzman | [ Reply to This ]
      A steaming train. If the smoke isn't aloud to exit the locomotive, it will explode. It is aloud to vent, so it chugs along. Everyone has those days that they wish had never had begun, keep your chin up, the sun sets on your horizon.
    | Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww, Jess I love you so much. Sometimes you can bring a smile to my face and it just makes me feel bad. Just to let you know you scared the sh*t out of me the other night when you called to have me delete the thing, yeah. Well, I'm going to tell you I can relate, and you can be alone if you damnwell wanna be. No one has a right to tell you that you're not alone when you want to be! whoo, I hope you start feeling better and I hope you don't read a certain journal of Kim's because I know it will just piss you off (as it did me, but you will be even more pissed off) I dunno, sorry for rambling, I love you! Ranting helps a lot, sometimes.
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh Jess, isn't it fun just to rant and let all that [censored] out. But man I can so relate to what your saying!!! Just kidding had to say it. Couldn't help myself.

    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by Joqer | [ Reply to This ]
      feels good to get out ur feelings, doesnt it? may not take away how u feel but at least u let it out.
    Hating urself only makes things worse. and well God, i think hes there always to listen and help but how do u expect God to help u when u cant even love urself and therefore help urself? im not tryin to sound mean or anything if that came off a lil mean...but u know what im saying? But life gets better if u want it to, sure u had an 'interesting day' and there will be many of those in life but dont let it get the best of u :)

    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by rhen | [ Reply to This ]
      first of all, there's no use in hating yourself. you'll get much farther with everything if you love yourself first. and I probably can't relate because I've forgotten what it's like to be your age, for the most part anyway. I think my childhood sucked though. I had alcoholic parents and there was never enough money and too much fighting. so I can sympathize. but it will get better. I know that for sure. count on it. hope it helped for you to get it out. you have the right idea.
    | Posted on 2005-01-21 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]

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