do you ever get one of those days where you just hate yourself and everything around you? where everyone seems out to get you and is planning your demise? where nothing goes right and you feel like a complete moron?
i think everyone has had days like this or something similar. i just wish they didn't happen to me so often. i often feel like if god thinks i'm getting too happy he thinks to himself, "hmm, jess seems to be getting into high spirits, i think we should totally ruin her life!"
i think he does the same thing when i actually get off my high horse to ask him for something, like help. i think it amuses him to hear my prayers; he probably laughs at me every time he hears from me.
it sounds like i'm blaming god for all my problems, but i'm not. i've got nothing against god, he's got a job to do and he does it well. maybe i'm the next Job -you know, the guy from the bible that god curses to test his faith- except i don't think i'll be able to handle it quite so gracefully. in fact, i don't think i'll be able to handle it at all.
great, now it sounds like i'm suicidal. i'm not, by the way. crap, if i get any sympathy letters telling me how they can relate with me and tell me they went through the exact same thing, i'm gonna scream. sure, you may know how much life sucks today but i don't wanna hear it. i'm going to be selfish and i'm going to feel all alone in this world.