Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the magic mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/
    Total Views: 1377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 245



    Description:
       drugs and the spell they unfold on you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe magic mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    magic waves of time decays, the magic man will come.
    he waves his hand across the air and calls out to the sun.
    snowy dust fall upon us and blackend rain with drops.
    he disappears amidst the grass, in time his spell corupts.




    Submitted on 2005-01-22 08:17:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *sings* 'Try, try, try to understand- He's a magic maaaaaaaan' Sorry- very nice length to this poem... and uber-perfect meter, too- I like unconventional styles a bit more, but this piece obeys such strict meter and conveys such a pretty Wonka-esque picture that it's just... cool. *md*
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the rhyme in this one. despite what i have said before about the whole rhyming thing. i think you have shown your brilliance and talent here. i like...

    "...he disappears amidst the grass, in time his spell corupts..."

    Its saying although he has gone he will come back and the fact that he was there and you experienced his presence...it will forever haunt you. am i wrong? i mean i get this. and you say it has to do with doing drugs? i feel like maybe this could even be used is a description of any mistake or bad feeling that you have about something. it will continue to haunt you until you do something different or do something that is going to solve the situation or problem. just a thought.

    Great job again.

    Sheezer! i never thought i would say that that much.
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh [censored], that was awesome. Oh yeah. Good work man, it takes some serious life experience to write great psychadelic work like this. Good one. -sin
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    43224

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry