[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A little Longerdots

    Author: Raven_s Miser
    ASL Info:    16-female- wap
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 68/54/18
    Words: 418
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2266

       This is written for my grandfather who passed away in 1994 because oc colen cancer.
    He was a loving person that I will never forget and I love him very much still to this day.

    I really am ashamed to write somethimg this lame for somebody I loved so much.
    But to me it was just how I felt.

    I don't very much care what commentary is given I just simply ask for it to read and felt by people that do or don't feel the same way

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA little Longerdots

    I press my face against the glass,
    and watch another hour pass.

    I see a fight that never ends,
    When in the end it all depends.

    They say you might make it and they say that it would be a miracle.

    I believe in many things miracles intended to
    And I hope they bring me back closer to you.
    Since you are now straying farther and farther away

    I can't walk in a see you and tell you how I feel Because to me right now I know that you can't hear my confession of love for you as I wanted you to.

    Seventy years of giving back and living with pride and love.
    Looking back on the photographs that were left in black and white and If you go and leave you will be so very out of sight.

    Thrust my head a way from the reflection in the glass.The tears are comming faster now and they have nowhere to hide.

    You fall upon your knees and turn your head up high to face the sky.The words that are spoken are said to praise the one you love and wish to still love it all came to worst.

    Look around and take a final glance of the man that made you complete.
    The sweet old man that came to birthday parties and was always the man that called you little names that you couldn't stand until today.
    And I hope he doesn't mind the name he was always called by me and my brother to us he was always grandpa.

    I now look at my family and see the fear that haunts my daddy .
    And I feeel so out of place.

    He never let anything beat him ever before.
    He never surrendered to the biggest and the strongest of them all.
    Now he bows down and pleads for forgiveness to a small disease that has killed him slowly, and now is killing us all.

    Thay said he might make it and thay said it would be a miracle.

    They said he would beat the cancer but now it's beating him.

    I wish he could hear me say that I would love him anyway if be by his side or by a standing stone in a field of green and memories.
    But I will love him anyway and that is one thing that will never change.

    Submitted on 2005-01-22 16:15:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this one sent chillsdown my spine... you put into words the exact feelings i had when me grandpa died for a couple of years ago. this actually brought tears to my eyes, and it's always a sign of strong skill for writing. i liked this very much, so much love and emotions in one single poem. very good, you know how to express feelings in words. it might be a little bit clumsy at times, but the point comes clear.

    very good job.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by _taateli_ | [ Reply to This ]
      Your poem speaks a divine love and respect for your grandfather, and much love and compassion for your dad. I love it when we can put our feelings on paper and this you've done quite well. Words from the heart are always sent with love and taken with compassion.
    I hope doing this helped release you from any pain you still feel. More than this, your grandpa must be very proud to know you've written such a beautiful tribute to him. I like him already.
    Thanks again

    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! this poem made me cry! I think you showed so much emotion in the words and secription. The way you describe your grandpa reminds me of my step grandpa who died in august 2001. Its sad how sometimes it takes something so haunting to make use realize how much we truly care for them and how we would die for them if we had the chance! I wish i could help but in death theres nothing to do but pray to your God in hopes that you will see them again one day in paradise!
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by Devils Angel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]