Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Without Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 720



    Description:
       Missing my man...bout it!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithout Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    How long it has been
    Since my body
    Has been close to yours
    Since I've felt complete
    I need you, I love you
    I miss you

    I miss the way your eyes
    Take me to where I've never been
    And how only your arms around me
    Can bring me back
    I miss the way my hand feels
    Locked in yours
    And the way your mouth settles over mine
    That rush, that heart-stopping, mind blowing
    Feeling that only consumes my body
    When you're here

    How long it has been
    Since my body
    Has been close to yours
    Since I've felt complete
    I need you, I love you
    I miss you




    Submitted on 2005-01-22 20:06:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem. It speaks a million and one wods to me abot how I feel. Yoiu have done a good job. I am adding it to my favs. ~~Donna~~
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by ThatWasOnceMe | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, it provoked so many emotions. It brought tears to my eyes. I also feel like this at the minute and I think you captured the feelings and the little things you miss so well. The only thing I am going to suggest is using more punctuation, commas and full stops etc. I just think it would read better.
    I really liked the part;
    "I miss the way my hand feels
    Locked in yours
    And the way your mouth settles over mine
    That rush, that heart-stopping, mind blowing
    Feeling that only consumes my body
    When you're here"
    Great write. Oh yeah and I think the repetiton worked really well.
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      This is exactly the way I feel now. I miss him so, I just ache for him. This was a good right, short but filled with complex emotion...
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write. I'm sorry about you and your boyfriend splitting up. Its so hard, very tough times. But, I'm sure that it wasn't meant to be. I'm sure there is someone out there for you.
    good luck on that . Good write
    | Posted on 2005-01-22 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    43305

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry