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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cries of a Dead Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Samuel Bielz
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 151/182/46
    Words: 217
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 359
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1304



    Description:
       I wrote this for my best friend, Adrienne. I hate being so far away from her.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCries of a Dead Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Holding on to this grave,
    My tears pour like the rain.
    Can you hear me crying for you, my love?
    I still feel your warmth;
    Though six feet of cold dirt keep me from you.
    I can still feel you breathing.
    This overwhelming wind is getting stronger.
    I feel it trying to take me away from you.
    Oh, my love, don't let go of me,
    Hold on to me and be torn from your grave.
    We'll be thrown into infinite blackness together,
    Forever drifting away from eachother,
    And closer to eachothers arms.
    Look me in the eyes and tell me your dreams,
    All I want is to make them come true.
    Hold my hand, and I'll hold you close to me,
    We'll stare into the mystique of the universe,
    Just like the way I stare into your eyes.
    In the wake of all this chaos,
    I come back to reality.
    I realize that I am still kept from you,
    By six feet of this cold cemetery dirt.
    I am no longer crying for you on this grave,
    But rather, it is me laying dead in this casket.
    I can hear you crying for me,
    Holding onto this grave.
    But can you feel my warmth?
    Can you even feel me still breathing?
    Because I'm dead without you...




    Submitted on 2005-01-22 21:51:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow everything that i have read by you is so raw and passionate. you drag the reader into the story of the poem and make them see and feel if only for a breif second what you or the person in the poem is feeling. and that is great. this peice is very powerful and moving. you have alot of talent. keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I really liked the ending to this. It did a complete 180 and turned the tables. Really well written. Flows nicely and all (that I saw) was spelled correctly. Displaying certain emotions not known to many. It sounds as if you hold a real depth perception. I'm sorry you and this person are so far apart. Sometimes, when we are at our greatest distances, we truely realize how much we care. ~SirensSong~
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by SirensSong | [ Reply to This ]



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