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    dots Submission Name: Clouded Minddots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 23
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 167

       I've got water imagery on my mind today; I guess.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClouded Minddots

    I wish someone would come
    and skim these clouded,
    rancid, useless, thoughts
    from my muddled mind
    like cleaning a fish tank.

    Submitted on 2004-03-26 16:38:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You know what I think would be better? If your mind were like a swimming pool with dead spiders, rats and frogs floating around in it. And maybe your pool could be over chlorinated with cynicism. Or your filters clogged with green-slime depression. Or maybe I should just write my own poem like that. Well, I wonder what could clean out a mind like that?
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      mmmm... interesting. Very clear, VERY cool metaphor. In a way, it would be nice to have a sort of mental filter to keep the brain clean...but can you imagine the sorts of things that might get accidently filtered? Memories that caused a little pain but in the long run brought smiles as well as tears. This is another nice piece from you. Essence of cuddle... one distinct image, complete w/ metaphor, as succinctly put as possible. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-27 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      and i wish that person could be me! i don't want anyone else sorting and discarding my thoughts - but yeah, i wish i could clear them up as well. nice write
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      you'd get scraped and syphon filtered, you'd get new plastic plants and some colourful rocks. and even some new buddies to play with and/or eat. you'd get new water Amy. are you prepared for that?

    i like mine dirty.

    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the analogy, good short write. it reminds of a commercial i've seen about these musicians made of water and one gets some crap
    in his shoulder and one fishes it out so he can play well again. i think it's some type of communication company putting it out.
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      short but quite precise. but do we always need someone? can't we clear our own fish tank? any way, the poem is well written.
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by shahan | [ Reply to This ]

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