Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Clouded Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 23
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 167



    Description:
       I've got water imagery on my mind today; I guess.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClouded Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish someone would come
    and skim these clouded,
    rancid, useless, thoughts
    from my muddled mind
    like cleaning a fish tank.





    Submitted on 2004-03-26 16:38:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You know what I think would be better? If your mind were like a swimming pool with dead spiders, rats and frogs floating around in it. And maybe your pool could be over chlorinated with cynicism. Or your filters clogged with green-slime depression. Or maybe I should just write my own poem like that. Well, I wonder what could clean out a mind like that?
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      mmmm... interesting. Very clear, VERY cool metaphor. In a way, it would be nice to have a sort of mental filter to keep the brain clean...but can you imagine the sorts of things that might get accidently filtered? Memories that caused a little pain but in the long run brought smiles as well as tears. This is another nice piece from you. Essence of cuddle... one distinct image, complete w/ metaphor, as succinctly put as possible. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-27 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      and i wish that person could be me! i don't want anyone else sorting and discarding my thoughts - but yeah, i wish i could clear them up as well. nice write
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      you'd get scraped and syphon filtered, you'd get new plastic plants and some colourful rocks. and even some new buddies to play with and/or eat. you'd get new water Amy. are you prepared for that?

    i like mine dirty.

    ghost.
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the analogy, good short write. it reminds of a commercial i've seen about these musicians made of water and one gets some crap
    in his shoulder and one fishes it out so he can play well again. i think it's some type of communication company putting it out.
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      short but quite precise. but do we always need someone? can't we clear our own fish tank? any way, the poem is well written.
    | Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by shahan | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    4332

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry