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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my sweet realizationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: _taateli_
    ASL Info:    18/F/Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 84/113/29
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 898
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 534



    Description:
       it's to me whom i write, you just tell me what's the problem and i promise not to change it. sorry for this being very much like the earlier poems, but these are the only ones i have had time to translate to english.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy sweet realizationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    hey hey, okay, the show must go on they say
    hey, I'm okay, like an angel broken in hundred pieces and fade away
    sweet realization
    when pink shadows on the walls
    sinking in the vast abyss
    screaming, feeling, raping
    tell me the truth
    I already knew
    neurotic, sad, infernal, freak, melancholy, beautiful, broken
    ---where's the mask?
    I sit on the pavement, smoke the cigarette, drink the wine, fall to sleep
    I lost my mask
    can't you see?




    Submitted on 2005-01-23 11:51:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      First off this is a very different piece, because I have never read anything such as this or even along the same lines as this one which I really like a lot. Something new, dark, refreshing to the mind and even eye catching at that. All these elements that were rather surprising and had me wanting to continue reading.

    I already knew
    neurotic, sad, infernal, freak, melancholy, beautiful, broken
    -where's the mask?
    I sit on the pavement, smoke the cigarette, drink the wine, fall to sleep
    I lost my mask
    can't you see?

    I honestly have to say I enjoyed this little segment of the writing the best out of any of it. The thought of losing "my mask" was sort of clever...not exactly genius but then again i have never seen this mask "theory" stated in such a way. Very intriguing piece here...

    -Geremy-
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      i lost the mask...that made me think. I might almost kno wot your sayin, but proll not. just being unable to put up the societal mask that we're all supposed to generate - ya babe, drink the wine, cuz it sucks hittin a costume ball without a mask ykno?
    shard
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I shall give it my rundown, don't have much time but I will try.

    hey hey, okay, the show must go on they say hey, I'm okay, like an angel broken in hundred pieces and fade away sweet realization when pink shadows on the walls sinking in the vast abyss screaming, feeling, raping tell me the truth I already knew neurotic, sad, infernal, freak, melancholy, beautiful, broken -where's the mask? I sit on the pavement, smoke the cigarette, drink the wine, fall to sleep I lost my mask can't you see?
    I like the "pink shadows" line, very original. as opposed to black or gray, good job.

    Submitted on 2005

    I like this a lot, I am pleased to have read, you are a good writer.


    This is very good work, I wouldn't have known it was a translation, I like. -sm
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]
      pretty awesome translation. i enjoyed the emotion of this piece. it felt like silent screams, subtle yet revealing.

    'sweet realization
    when pink shadows on the walls
    sinking in the vast abyss
    screaming, feeling, raping
    tell me the truth
    I already knew'

    I love this, u ask a question to which u already have the answer. excellent presentation.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by batgirl | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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