Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

One Silent Tear


Author: Archer
ASL Info:    17/female/Oregon
Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 118 /148 /53
Words: 228
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1143
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1330



Description:


the spelling is bad i know but you can get the idea of it atleast. it is a love/longing poem but it only says longing so sorry lol.


One Silent Tear



No, please don't turn away
when i say i love you.
you may belive what you wish
but you know what i say it true.

i have been cold to others in the past
wishing to find a love,
a love that would not last.

But you are differant you take my pain,
i know that as long as i live
i shall love no other
as i have love you againe.

you are the sun,
in my eternal night,
you steer me clear of my loveless plight.

i just wish when you
looked at me you could
soo i'm for real
loveing you, holding you,
a life so sureal.

you are amazing
catching me when i fall.
and holding me till i am strong
how can loving you be wrong?

you say
you don't want to hurt me
yet being away from you nearly kills me.

for the first time i am safe
safe from abandonment and
safe from pain,
i don't want to let you go,
never, never againe.

my hast the crule and twisted hand of fate
put you with me and allowed you to turn away from me?
i bore my heart strong and clear
yet you looked at is and truned away with
one silent tear.




Submitted on 2005-01-23 18:31:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  From other works of yours, I can see when it comes to poetry you wear your heart on your sleeve! I think that, and correct me if I'm wrong, someone really broke your heart and then someone else mended it all back together. This new person also seems to be shattering it all over again! That line "you say you don't want to hurt me..." Ouch! I know that line, be there, heard that one and usually came out on the short end. So... like a book about you I'm off to see what happens next in your story! Cheers!
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
  the emotion that this poem goves the meaning that this poem has is almost identical as what im going through right now and i tip my hat to your poem. i absolutly loved it and the feeling that this poem gives is almost exactly the same kind of emotion that i try to give in my writings .though it sadens me to think that there are other people that are going through similar pain and i just want to say that this poem is a great poem and i hope that everything turns out well for you and i hope you continue to write poems because i would like to see more from you well i hope every things turns out for the better for you cheow
| Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by runaway_poet | [ Reply to This ]
  hey love,

this sounds really nice, really nice. i'm away from my girlfriend right now, and she wrote me something like this, and it just made me love her even more, it's pretty cool like that. i hope that this love that you have will work out in the end, the only bad thing that i can say for this poem is the spelling, believe me, i got the idea, but the spelling kinda took away from it just a tad. ok? otherwise, this was a very heart felt poem and it's awesome when a woman loves a man like this.

-austin-
| Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



43440