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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ann
    ASL Info:    22/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 59/61/16
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 251
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 855



    Description:
       i wasnt really sure what my first submission should be so i closed my eyes and picked one, this is what came out of the box. I dont care about grammer at all, just how you felt when reading it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallendots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world spins around me and I am slowly walking with this haze that surrounds me.

    I can see nothing but the next step ahead and when I look up everything passes by in a blur.

    Every step I take seems to be more difficult, with me coming closer and closer to falling.

    And when I do fall, I stare up ay the sky I use to love so much, the sky that comforted me all those lonely nights and it is ablaze, full of angry flames.

    Even the moon and the stars have abandoned me.

    So I lay there, with the world spinning around me and the sky spitting flames.

    Feeling the cold pavement against my neck and shoulders.

    Feeling it seep inside of me until I am frozen by that cold

    So I close my eyes, thankful for the peace I have been longing for.




    Submitted on 2005-01-23 19:41:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This..is wonderful. It kinda reminds me of when I was a kid for some reason, I used to always be outside to get away from everything..
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by miyashinkao | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree...this is beautiful. I sometimes feel as though I've been abandonded by everyone/thing. I think you used the perfect words to describe that feeling...I love the line about the moon and stars...and I think it's cool you described the flames as angry...I don't see very many being so descriptive. This is an aweseom poem. nice job!
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      ive been reading some of your stuff and i just wanted to say that i love the way you write ... its awsome and this is a great piece there isnt a thing id change ...keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by blacktearz | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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