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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the lime lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/
    Total Views: 1099
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 302



    Description:
       it's all the same funkin day man


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe lime lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yesterdays are causing todays to be a worse tomorrow.
    Tonight will be the mornning and tomorrow is just yesterday, because all I can't see, I can play dumb.
    Before I loose sight of what I was tring to say, I mean just which way the end is in the moment of now made up from yesterday.




    Submitted on 2005-01-23 22:17:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. a confusing piece but i held on! i actually get this despite the other poem. I totally understand where you are coming from...i think? this line...

    "...Yesterdays are causing todays to be a worse tomorrow..."

    I mean it sounds weird and to some people it might not make sense but to me. i really feel it.

    Let me give it a try. besically you are saying that what we experienced yesterday and dealing with the outcome of the actions that we made yesterday...result in living with it even tomorrow. right? i mean i can relate to that with some mistakes that i have made like...i feel weird saying this but lets just say ...doing something i didnt want to do but i felt pressured. and that mistake led to me dealing with it the day after and living with the fact that i made that mistake the next day.(tomorrow)
    Wow. i dont know i mean this piece just spoke to me. im going to add it to my favorites. i may have not gotten the meaning that you meant. but i sure did get something. great job. wow..me and you need to do a book together. lol...seriously?...good job.
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]
      After reading through this short piece of writing twice I was thoroughly amazed by what you had written. Writing about this tomorrow's and yesterday's and how you intertwined them amongst each other in an angered way that was thoughful and...truthful all at the same time.

    Before I loose sight of what I was tring to say, I mean just which way the end is in the moment of now made up from yesterday.

    These last two lines in my mind were amazing at the thought they provoked in my mind. At first glance I was kind of skeptical due tot he size, but in such a short space you crammed quite a bit of words that were so mind boggling. In a way I sort of can't get over what i have read here, heh kind of surprising what anger can bring out of people. Very very clever work here...keep it up.

    -Geremy-
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way this one started, but you lost me in the end. Maybe its because I'm tired and Ive been at work for twelve hours, but it just seems like the last couple of line could use some polishing, especially after the acute inquisitiveness of the beginning. Good write,
    HWKI
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by HWKI | [ Reply to This ]
      This confused me cuz im tired and a little drunk. I don't think you should make it more simple. I like it, i think about this sort of thing sometimes, but a basically never get an ending for it. I'ma fav this so i can watch this again.
    shard
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      This confused me. I think you should make it simpler to understand. Sometimes a hidden meaning is fun to figure out but this one is just... confusing. It's a jumble of words that I'm sure make perfect sense to you but I don't think your readers will be able to get the point. I got the first line though. Maybe give a discription or something
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]


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