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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pain Killerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1289
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 312



    Description:
       I had this posted with Drawn, in case you're wondering.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPain Killerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    People aren't analgesics
    to be used
    every four hours
    as needed
    to ease your pain.
    You use me
    as wanted,
    but in time
    I'll break apart
    like a pill
    in a stomach,
    but those lucky tablets
    don't have to feel.




    Submitted on 2005-01-23 22:40:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Amy,
    You know aspirin is wonderful stuff. As I have recently discovered, there are three dangers to using it though (and three are enough to kill ya dead)... ONE: it really irritates the stomach lining and can therefore help cause ulcers or at least exacerbate the symptoms TWO: aspirin poisoning can kick in unexpectedly at any time and without warning, is hard to identify and deadly THREE: It slows the clotting of blood, I recently almost blead to death after a simple operation because the wound would not stop bleeding due to taking of pain killers. My advice to your speaker then; be an aspirin - you'll kill the busterd sooner or later.
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is and interesting way of confronting ,shall we say the up & downs of relationships.
    Though I must admit it is not what I expected from the title but that's ok, I enjoyed the read anyway.
    !Doc~
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      very good way of putting it. Yes often people use others as a remedy for themselves and ar so stuck in their own world they do not stop to see what it does to that person. Tissues are throwawya not friends. Well put
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi cuddle,

    It's been a while since I walked down the cuddledumplin path of poems, and I am painfully reminded why I spent so much time here in awe. Memories...
    This was a (I hate to sound so terrible, but hopefully you'll understand) typical you write. It has all of the elements. The minimalism, the very clear point illustrated in a clever manner, the distance followed by the intensely personal confession.

    But of course, this is as different form your other pieces as it could be because you are creative, and probably terrified of treading the same path over and over again as we all are.

    I found the use of "needed," followed a few lines later by "wanted," quite telling. At first they seem like synonyms, and I didn't notice their separateness. But on a second read, they are glaring. "Wanted" betrays a childish greed, and at the same time, a willingness to be wanted and used.

    I've written this in my journal in sloppy upset letters too many times before.

    ~ Kayla
    | Posted on 2005-02-06 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      This is written in a way that suits its subject matter well. Like the ticking of a clock counting down to the next dose that is needed ever more.
    It is quite remorseless in that respect I think and I like the analogy of being the analgesic the spiritual sticking plaster and that what you can give and the amount of stickiness that you have is a finite resource. Yes it opens a whole can of worms: who cares for the carer? I like that and it gives this piece an edge.
    I would prefer to see 'I'll disolve' simply because to me it conjures up a slower form of bile-induced pain.
    The last two lines rather drew me up short and I suppose I felt as though I'd been short changed in some way.
    They just don't strike me as being as eloquent as those lines preceding them.
    But it doesn't matter because I know what you mean.
    Later,
    K
    | Posted on 2005-01-30 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      whew. this is different. used every four hours is really great.

    the solution to being used as a pain killer could be to use a pain killer - so as not to feel. or perhaps an antacid to protect from the stomach! or to peel back the paint in the drawing to get everything real and drug free.
    | Posted on 2005-01-29 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, obviously I am not the only one who thought this was awesome, I think that you should be very proud of this one. I was reading it and I was like this girl has so much talent.
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess most of us are guilting of keeping our little human pills hidden away in our handbags - to be popped at our convenience. I know I'm cerainly guilty of relying on certain people for specific reasons so perhaps that's why I relate to it. Brilliantly written. I wish you would publish your work!
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the shock factor I get after reading it. Like if I was the person you wrote this to who was using you I'd say something like "She did not just say that to me!" LoL I agree with everyone that has commented before on your great metaphors and word play. You hit on so many good topics in ways that others wouldn't think of. Your originality is all your own and no one can even compare to it. You really have it! :) I loved it as usual. Great job! :)
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was exellent. The comparison between a person and a pill was very true. Sometimes people can feel used... and some people are real [censored]s for using others for a little bit of happiness in their time of need. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like this person is not a pain-killer but a pain-absorber. Clever word play as usual. Short stabbing lines set a brisk pace to this reality.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me alot of Caustic, that you wrote way back and which is still one of my absolute favorites on here. Maybe I have a secret fetish for drugs and pills, eh? Anyway, I love that honest style with the powerful images; that's got lots of impact on the mind and on perception.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      Rightous!! I really dig it when you bust out with the short ones....I guess maybe cause I have a short attension span. ha ha ha. Pills...more drug refference, and done so well. Really this was great...short with so much girth to the meaning. (whoa that sounded nasty..oops) I'm a dork.
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by Ratmeat | [ Reply to This ]
      both of these are really good and the feeling/mood of them seems to go together but i wish you would post the first separate cause it just blew me away, it was really fresh and unique and eye-opening. it's a favorite.
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      i could sure use one of them pain killers right about now! that is clever, using the pain killer as a metaphor for using a person to kill your pain. people can certainly become addicted to people, using them just like a drug. this is clever of you, but that doesn't surprise me!

    sometimes drawings do look more animated than real life and jump out at the page with their bold colors. hard to live up to that sometimes in real life. but you are anything but a vacant sketch, as i've said before. you are clever little cookie, you are!!! :)
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      that was an idea i never thought of... teh thing with the pain killers. I think it could have possibly used a bit more, but.. oh i'm so bad at this... heh. anyway, i reallly really like the first one.


    Ok, wow. Both of those are things i never really thought about. the pain killers and the drawing... you are good. I like that.

    I'll try to do better at commenting next time
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by Dead Weight | [ Reply to This ]


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