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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Keep Goingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Skinwalker
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 36/57/28
    Words: 15
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 837
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 81



    Description:
       Everyone deserves to be told this. It's true. I hope you enjoy. There are some people I wish I could have told, but I was to late, and maybe so were you. But I am saying it to everyone now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKeep Goingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Keep on going strong
    Keep up in this crazy life
    For we all love you




    Submitted on 2005-01-24 22:44:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You have a nice message but I feel you could play with words a bit more, maybe introduce a bit more. I agree with the above comment that you could have done it in two lines. Seems like you have a spare tire attached to your haiku. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by kanu | [ Reply to This ]
      When I saw that the type was haiku, I was expecting some imagery and was prepared to let my mind go wild. But my own haikus aren't anything like nature either so I can't really complain. I do agree that everyone should be told this because there are too many people that think life is nothing. By way of improvements, I think that the full stop at the end of line 2 should not be there so that it just runs into line 3. Thats it. Nice message!
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this in the context of your introduction. when i just read it it was still good but then when i read that part and thought of people i wish i had said things too it hit me, the shortness of it, the haiku format makes it just a breath, maybe under your breath, what you'd say as they walk away.
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]


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