Description: I wrote this after reading a book about September 11, you might notice allusions to names such as Reagan, and You went off to find your friend
Under all that dirt". these come directly for the book. The book is called Remember for yall who wanna read itt. Hope you enjoy. luv, ola.
Remember when -------------------------------------------
We were just little kids
And our friends they all laughed
When we shared out first kiss
And we wept and we cried
When Reagan's father died
We held hands on the day
That his office went down
You went off to find your friend
Under all that dirt
And we hoped, and we prayed
That you'll come back someday
Safe and sound with your friend
You came back with your friend
But he was already dead
We had just turned eighteen
College came; college went
Twisted souls; hearts got bent
We broke up; made new friends
Came together back again
Love came knocking on our door
Baby one, baby two, we were waiting for our third
Little Joe turned 15
Got suspended cos of his rebellious streak
Mary Ann broke her arm
While playing referee
And Jo Ann came back home
Huge grin two missing teeth
With that huge gash on her arm.
We're old now, grandkids here
Lost our youth, have gray hair
Kids come home; we have fun
Till our comfy beds say come
Kids have grandkids of their own
Rocking chairs, with gray hair
And they all say “we…
OLA; got ya name right,think i got sme thing to critisize ya in a suggestive context, you might want to fix your age on your profile it has you aged at 14 i think. as for you 9-11 peice;its perfection far out distances your light years ahead of geinus'who seem to be not open to other forms of style,which is some peoples theory the reason behind tragic episodes as that of the nature of your peice. spent four days scraping the remains of tortured lives out of that mess, and i hope your subject matter covers the artist job of wRIGHTING the wrongs of/and to society,as per HUME(plato),BALDWIN(the creative process) help promote peace,or the unnessasary dieing will never cease paulie d
the flow of the poem was very good, and i loved the idea. The whole sept. 11 upsets me anyway. I don't like war like things. Anyway, back to the poem. I like how you repeated the title in the beginning and the end of each poem.
This is a great poem. I'm not even that old, only 20, and I have those moments when I look back on the short part of my life that I've lived and say remember when. I enjoy the memories of the "good old times" but I think that always makes me want to go out and make even better memories for future trips down memory lane.
I really like this piece. Quite a contrast to some of the others I have read of yours. Good to know you're versatile :-D. you have a spelling mistake out=our.
Also I agreed. The Remember when at the end of each stanza is out of place and repetitive except for the last stanza. If you are bent on keeping them there then try to hook it into the poem, like for instance..
"We held hands on the day That his office went down He'll, Remember when"
"You came back with your friend But he was already dead You'll, Remember when
"Love came knocking on our door Baby one, baby two, we were waiting for our third We'll, Remember when"
"Huge grin two missing teeth With that huge gash on her arm. I'll, Remember when"