Remember when by Ola

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Submission Name: Remember when dots

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Author:	Ola
ASL Info:	18/f/USA
Elite Ratio:	3.26 - 221/187/43
Words:	218

Class/Type:	Poetry/Nostalgia
Total Views:	563
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1510

Description:
I wrote this after reading a book about September 11, you might notice allusions to names such as Reagan, and You went off to find your friend

Under all that dirt". these come directly for the book. The book is called Remember for yall who wanna read itt. Hope you enjoy. luv, ola.

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Remember when dots

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Remember When
We were just little kids
And our friends they all laughed
When we shared out first kiss
And we wept and we cried
When Reagan's father died
We held hands on the day
That his office went down
Remember when

Remember when
You went off to find your friend
Under all that dirt
And we hoped, and we prayed
That you'll come back someday
Safe and sound with your friend
You came back with your friend
But he was already dead
Remember when

Remember when
We had just turned eighteen
College came; college went
Twisted souls; hearts got bent
We broke up; made new friends
Came together back again
Love came knocking on our door
Baby one, baby two, we were waiting for our third
Remember when

Remember when
Little Joe turned 15
Got suspended cos of his rebellious streak
Mary Ann broke her arm
While playing referee
And Jo Ann came back home
Huge grin two missing teeth
With that huge gash on her arm.
Remember when

We're old now, grandkids here
Lost our youth, have gray hair
Kids come home; we have fun
Till our comfy beds say come
Kids have grandkids of their own
Rocking chairs, with gray hair
And they all say “we…
“…Remember when…”

Submitted on 2004-03-26 20:15:31 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
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||| Comments |||
  This is very powerful. You can really feel the emotion in it. I like it. Keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2006-08-19 00:00:00 | by mysterious one | [ Reply to This ]
  That was very beautiful, Ola. It brought a tear to my eye, especially the line about searching for my friend under the dirt. That was a very sad day indeed. Great Write. Another Favorite
| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was pretty. A good idea. There are so many Remember When's in each of our lives. I love how you gave it a lifetime in words. Nice job.
| Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Wonder Passing | [ Reply to This ]
  OLA;
got ya name right,think i got sme thing to critisize ya in a suggestive context,
you might want to fix your age on your profile it has you aged at 14 i think.
as for you 9-11 peice;its perfection far out distances your light years ahead of geinus'who seem to be not open to other forms of style,which is some peoples theory the reason behind tragic episodes as that of the nature of your peice.
spent four days scraping the remains of tortured lives out of that mess, and i hope your subject matter covers the artist job of wRIGHTING the wrongs of/and to society,as per HUME(plato),BALDWIN(the creative process) help promote peace,or the unnessasary dieing will never cease paulie d
| Posted on 2004-04-12 00:00:00 | by paulie d | [ Reply to This ]
  the flow of the poem was very good, and i loved the idea. The whole sept. 11 upsets me anyway. I don't like war like things. Anyway, back to the poem. I like how you repeated the title in the beginning and the end of each poem.
| Posted on 2004-04-11 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a great poem. I'm not even that old, only 20, and I have those moments when I look back on the short part of my life that I've lived and say remember when. I enjoy the memories of the "good old times" but I think that always makes me want to go out and make even better memories for future trips down memory lane.
| Posted on 2004-03-28 00:00:00 | by mavrrick | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this piece. Quite a contrast to some of the others I have read of yours. Good to know you're versatile :-D. you have a spelling mistake out=our.

Also I agreed. The Remember when at the end of each stanza is out of place and repetitive except for the last stanza. If you are bent on keeping them there then try to hook it into the poem, like for instance..

"We held hands on the day
That his office went down
He'll, Remember when"

"You came back with your friend
But he was already dead
You'll, Remember when

"Love came knocking on our door
Baby one, baby two, we were waiting for our third
We'll, Remember when"

"Huge grin two missing teeth
With that huge gash on her arm.
I'll, Remember when"

you know, something.

great job *trishi
| Posted on 2004-03-28 00:00:00 | by Leala | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice piece of Nostalgia... although the double use of the Remember When is okay stanza per stanza...as a whole it slows the read down and gets a bit repetitive when read aloud.
jan
| Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
  You did agood job setting up the scene, I like your use of words.
| Posted on 2004-03-26 00:00:00 | by Cutting Envy | [ Reply to This ]

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