The idea of love and wine is an appealing idea for a poem and a very old idea, well substantiated in mythology. Christians have the wine into blood idea. Shamans who were high on Fly Agaric let their devotees see spirits by drinking their urine. This was a water into "wine" idea. Vampires who are immortal drink blood. You are writing in a long tradition. Being from part of the old Soviet Union of course, you are part of a more modern tradition of being totally immersed in alcohol. All that being said, you have written a neat inebriating little poem. Prost!
Ahahaha... alcohol... I love it. What's better than being drunk with your love? Maybe drunk with the ex you haven't gotten over, eh? Well anywho... great write. Had an old feel with the '!'... but that was the only part that sounded old...ish. So yeah... I ain't gonna badger ya about the beat cuz I just got thru yelling at some dick for telling me that my poetry was supposed to have PERFECT beat. I can telling what needs a... beating. Oy.
I really like the idea of the second stanza, in fact the poem as a whole, i just dont often like rhyme...i think this is something you could develope really well... so i think that this is something worth revisiting, and perhaps expanding on, thanks for sharing ellisa
aye, i had to read it when i noticed the title:D oh, i almost feel like i would be in love every time i read your poems! they're just so...in love! this was the second poem i read today that made me almost feel like id believe in god, but when the poem ended, the feeling disappeared. funny. i'm feeling very drunk(though i havent drunk anything else than tea today) x_O
//Suck the drops of my blood It tastes like red sweet wine Believe, you値l be feeling good! It will make your life divine//
first thing this reminded me of was jesus, his blood turning to wine and when you drink it you become part of him=divine. first after reading it for a few times again i got a better image of the piece, more of a feeling of somekind of wicked, sweet gothic love<3
//I値l drink all your tears Like white sparkling wine Believe, you値l lose your fears! It will make my life so fine//
ah, lovely. drink the tears, lose the fears=everything's fine. it sounds so working, so good, so...lovable(have i said the word "love" enough often?)
//Let痴 get intoxicated together! Drunk together, we shall be forever Fainting slowly, passing out Falling into the abyss of love.//
the closing is brilliant. we get heavily drunk with the toxic called love which then knocks us out and we are in this endless amount of love. reminds me of "we've crossed oceans of wine". maybe just the title, but even so: lovely<3