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    dots Submission Name: Living trafficdots

    Author: Dana
    ASL Info:    23/F/Dreamland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 79/87/26
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 839
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 926


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    dotsLiving trafficdots

    Our life is traffic and we are the cars
    Like the parts of this huge tangle
    We’re taking the risk to get what we want
    Lifestyle in rush, we need to hurry up
    To manage the duties of our lives
    To do as many collisions as we can
    We are young, randy, fast and free
    Free-living is our path, we like the taste of risk
    We’re tearing down the roads to feel
    The adrenaline once more, we're willing to go
    All over the barriers, the path is all ours
    Picking up the spokes in our wheels
    We’re going through endless crossings
    Going left, right, back and forward again
    We are in never-ending cutthroat competition
    Be aware, don’t take a false step
    Pay all your attention to the road
    Just follow the traffic signs, but don’t stop
    Strive to reach your goals and fulfill your life!

    © by DANA 2003

    Submitted on 2005-01-25 12:19:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      interesting. different. cool I like the metaphor, we are the cars, our life is a traffic. i somehow got the feeling this could be the lyrics from a song of private line or something don't know how, there's something in the way you rhyme the poem, it flows really nicely. this part i like very much:

    To do as many collisions as we can
    We are young, randy, fast and free
    Free-living is our path, we like the taste of risky, and

    it could be straight out of a rock'n'roll-song. and the whole idea is something i've never read of before, there's something fresh in the way you wrote it. and besides, it is a very good metaphor. that sounds just like life ;) very good, darling
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by _taateli_ | [ Reply to This ]

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