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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Hurtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: callycat
    ASL Info:    20/female/UK
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 89/76/14
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 873



    Description:
       tell me how crap it is !!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Hurtsdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Love hurts… it’ll hurt even you!
    Love breaks your heart without meaning to.

    Love kills you inside, it crumbles your heart,
    Your feelings suddenly explode, you don’t know where to start.

    Love is only a feeling, but takes over your life,
    And brings you the trouble, the pain and strife.

    You’ve longed for this feeling locked deep down inside,
    Not knowing in the end you’ll lose all of your pride.

    You feel overwhelmed as your heart feels alive,
    But then feel despair, as your heart starts to die.

    Love makes you feel empty, like your missing your soul,
    Your life melts before you, you no longer feel whole.

    Once you’ve been hurt by love, your heart turns to stone,
    And the life you now live… is a life all alone.




    Submitted on 2005-01-25 12:31:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey cally!
    it's kate here....i took your advice and signed up to this!!
    Well i may be a bit biased seeing as this is how i feel about the subject of love at the moment, but it is very true for different opinions and minds, it shows all the mixed up feelings you can have about that one very strong feeling, which can cause the highest amount of happiness and the lowest amount of sadness.
    oh and its not crap !
    xx
    | Posted on 2006-08-23 00:00:00 | by Musicloverxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. Its set out differently to how many other poems are set out, which makes it different and special. Hey cally! its ryan! You have alot of super reviews on here, and they reflect alot on things i have told you about your poetry. Its great. Lv ya, keep writing! x x

    -Mstr Rz
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great piece...I write mostly love poetry myself and I liked this one. I also agree that the flow and rhyming worked quite well. It makes me think of the girl I've written a few of my works about. Sometimes I wish I could get her out of my mind, yet she inspires me.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi there! This is not at all crap! It is really good! The flow and rhyme are great! It speaks such truth! I love the last two lines especially! Such feeling and depth, a great write and only regret is that it took me this long to read it! Take care!
    Added to my favorites
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Every line was truth and had to come from someone who has experienced this. Wow! I'm amazed that at this age and stage you are nailing love down. The flow was nice and easy and allows the reader to grasp every line of this without distraction. The rhymes don't seem forced at all. Nice work once again.

    X
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like your poem. You did a great job discribing love. I think you need a few lines between the 6th and 7th stanzas though.
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]
      This wasn't crap. I did think that it should have been longer or maybe you could have put a few lines together and not space them like you did. But it works for the poem, great job!
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]


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