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    dots Submission Name: Structuredots

    Author: Emma_closes
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 88/111/44
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1102

       I was feeling very "redundant" when I wrote this. It's about being trapped in some sort of cycle, basically, and just longing for something more. Though it has deeper meanings to me, personally, that's about the gist of it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Structure building structure
    from the ruins of your eyes
    this dark south wind conjuncture
    and all that my mind implies

    artistry upon my soul
    that you carve into your own
    your eyes tell stories once untold
    please pick up the phone

    yet I know it is not ringing
    because you can't read my mind
    you still think that I'm clinging
    to what I have left behind

    but this is new, undoubted sin
    why can't you just infer that?
    just reach out and help me in
    that's all I want, in fact

    just drop me off with fifty cents
    for one more silly phone call
    and I'll leave you with my compliments
    and then I'll turn to fall

    right back into wishing
    that you would help me quick
    show me what I'm missing
    because this really makes me sick

    Structure building structure
    from the ruins of your eyes
    this dark south wind conjuncture
    and all that my mind implies

    Submitted on 2005-01-25 17:57:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I was so glad you added two of my poems to your favorites that I just had to comment on something of yours. About "Structure," I loved it. I can sense in it a potential to become a really, really good song, actually (especially with the repetition of the first stanza at the end). Excellent writing!
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      awesomw poem. nothing really that can be critisized. I like how you repeated the first stanza again at the end. It makes it end well.
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]

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