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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Controldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1186



    Description:
       This is a poem thats been on here before and I only got one comment back and it was how it sucks and real poems don't rhyme so im submitting it again hoping to get some more comments back! but uh this is a poem about me and my boyfriend when we fight as you can tell l


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsControldots
    -------------------------------------------



    Feeling trapped with nothing to say
    I respond "I don't care!",
    or "go away!"

    Those remarks cause you pain,
    I act like I don't care but really I do,
    From taht, respect is lost, not gained.

    Instead of getting fustrated and yelling it out
    we should sit down
    and simply talk it out.

    I just want to get my point across
    and have you see it my way
    but I'm not always the boss

    I'm sorry I feel the need to be right and in power
    and when you tell me I'm wrong
    thats when I turn sour

    I know I need to be calm and hear you out
    and I'm sorry I don't
    I'll try for you, because loving you is what I'm all about.

    I hate fighting with my best friend
    it scares me to realize
    that you might not be there in the end

    we have the good times
    and we have the bad
    but I wouldn't trade any for a hefty dime

    I love you with all my heart
    God only knows,
    I hope nothing ever tears us apart.




    Submitted on 2005-01-26 10:24:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      real poetry Does rhyme... 'The Raven', anyone? I'd like to see someone contest Poe or Frost... This is a pretty typical poem- with personal flair, of course, but that doesn't make it bad. It's actually pretty sweet in the way of realization. Take care. *md*
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, only the ignorant say that real poetry doesn't rhyme. Don't listen to them. As for the poem, job well done. Excellent flow, witty, relatable, overall good.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was good. I'm not to hard to please with people's writings. I think you deserve more than one comment on your poem. You are a good writer and don't let people tell you that you aren't. If you think you are good, thell them that don't let them put you down. I woldn't change any of it. I really like the rhyvimg in the poem. Not everyone out here will think you writing sucks...great job. keep on writing...


    mikki
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohhh! This was pretty good. I am sorry that you didn't get too many comments on it. But some people can be such [censored]s. I wonder if tat got censored? But anyway. I ahev to say I liked the rhyming technique and keep writing. THere is always someone out there who will enjoy your work.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, not a bad poem at all! ryming poems are usually the hardest, but you pulled it off. nice flow, and i liked the structure...i liked how its as if you are talking to the person and apologizing..have you shown it to him? that would be cool if you did. ok, well nice job, a very good poem!
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ]


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