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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Those Little Thingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: _winky_
    ASL Info:    25/f/minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 664/529/96
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 898



    Description:
       being friends is great, but that lust to be more is to strong to fight sometimes. the title is one i am not sure of, but oh-well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThose Little Thingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dancing fairies reside in your eyes.
    Their wands create enchantment.
    Nothing can stop the beauty within.

    I long to feel you on my skin.

    Your laughter fills the corridor,
    It carries along with delight.
    With every giggle you let out,

    A newfound love begins to sprout.

    Little peach men in your fingertips
    My body tingles with each touch
    I feel so much magic between us,

    Why canít I just confess?

    That soft coffee hair lays just right.
    Your clothes are wrinkle free.
    The aroma you put off I canít resist.

    This affection you donít know exists.

    Your love is so untouchable
    Drives me crazy to see you there
    Multihued rays fade into the sky

    With your love Iíd be, forever high.






    Submitted on 2005-01-26 11:04:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      That soft coffee hair lays just right.
    Your clothes are wrinkle free.
    The aroma you put off I canít resist

    I love this part...It just kind of made me stare out my window and do that *sighhhh* that girls do ...This poem was filled to the brim with feeling and i love that !...I rarely enjoy anything that is technically correct and void of emotion ...but youve just managed to create it all ...i think this is great ...Beautiful ...passionate...ect ect and so forth

    Much love
    krysti
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, interesting avatar. The poem? Awesome. Absolutely nothing to criticize - a breath of fresh air on a subject that's been torn apart by the incompotent. You created such an appealing atmosphere with this piece, that your words gave me goosebumps. Terrific work.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Lady Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      "Dancing fairies reside in your eyes."

    I love the way you started out with this line... but I was dissappointed with all the rhyming... I think the feeling you are expressing here is beautiful and honest... to me the sing songy .. rhyming nature of the rest of your piece takes away from your intention.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by chichonaloca24 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this sounds just like something i would write in one of my happy inspirational moods. you give much detail and the visuals that i got where amazing, i also loved the comparison of things that really didnt relate to the poem like the coffe hairs but it was refreshing. I think this just became one of my favorites
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a fairly good poem. You provide very good visuals. The coffee colored hair, the body tingling with each touch followed by the tingly feel of some sort of magic being sprinkled upon your connection. This is a good write. Keep doing what ya doing.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Now aren't you just so damn adorable with this lving and endearing poem. Aslo apparently a little horny as well,lol

    Very vivid are your feeling and your passion in this poem, very good write
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


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