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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prostitution (x)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chicool2
    ASL Info:    17/f/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 266/260/60
    Words: 274
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1746



    Description:
       Just a little piece I felt like I wanted to write. I'm not a prostitute, just trying the feel of someone else's life for a change. And I have never had sex before either. I forgot to add that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsProstitution (x)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I walk out the door
    For the first time
    To encounter the back alley
    Full of the men who want
    Just a little lust
    And a taste of sexuality

    My body is touched and I look behind
    A man is groaning
    waiting for his body to be in mine
    So I follow
    Get into his car
    Waiting for my experience
    That is yet to come

    A drive almost seven miles
    leads us to his elegant house
    I step out the door
    and his hand joins mine
    Another walk up ten steps
    Leads us to the room
    Where the moans will erupt from

    I take off my clothes as so does he
    I jump on the bed
    Seducing him far more than possible
    As soon as I do
    He moves onto me
    And then we begin

    As he kisses me
    Down the nape of my neck
    and down even further
    To my delicate thigh
    And then I feel agony
    But lust as well
    As he sticks his body into mine
    We become one
    The bed rocking steadily
    In a motion so extraordinary
    Groans and more moans
    rocking as one
    Ohh and yes !
    Bring this on

    And it all comes out
    and I kiss it too
    I never thought this would be so amazing
    Prostitution

    He gives me the money
    And drives me back
    I walk home
    And my mother doesn't suspect a thing
    ________________________________
    Years later I look back...
    At the shame I have brought upon myself
    And how my body is ruined
    By several men
    Violated indefinitely
    Forever in shame








    Submitted on 2005-01-26 11:17:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well i see you are only 14 yourself lol.. and already writing about sex topics...perhaps you are right and i dont need the R on my piece at all...i think that this piece lacks something!?! Have you ever experienced anything like this or anyone you know??? Perhaps writing about your own emotions and experiences would help a little... great start though...keep writing.. :)
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a good poem, the flow was interrupted a few times but other than that i really enjoyed it. I've never walked the streets but i know about prostituting yourslef on a deeper level. Somehow i always thought that if i could do the right thing or say the right words then they wouldnt leave and they always left. Just give me love and ill give you everything else. Well anyways im rambling...keep writing, i look forward to reading more!
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Ann | [ Reply to This ]
      its a good look at how things would normally work, i think that for a 14 ear old you have found a great way to express yourself, just hopen that this isnt your own story, id like to read more of ur work and i do believe im going to , i hope you find further inspration and keep the writeing flowing freely , loved it bye
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... this was very descriptive... for fourteen you certainly have a very vivid image to paint... I'm glad you put that fourth note in because people probably would have construded this as your life... it was good... the words were vulgar and real and that's the key to great poetry...although that last stanza really dissapointed me... it kinda made the whole poem obsolite.. you should delete that and leave the rest... it's a good piece...
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by bleedbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      That poem shows the very heart of everything I am about. Going against the grain. I loved that you stepped out on a limb, and dared to be differant. As for the poem. Wonderfully written in that it uses such immagrey in such a wonderfull way. You will trully be a talented writter in years to follow. Keep working at it, you are almost there.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by poeticvisionary | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice...You're going to be a great writer in years to come. You know what it takes to make a good poem. Next time though, make that dude put on a condom.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Great- then- now I want a hooker!

    Do you see what youíve done??? Sigh~ The only thing I might change is the word penis... Itís so technical it made me laugh. Penis- lol... Such a silly word. Hey- I just premembered I have one! HEY- I just premembered that youíre 14- I gotta go!

    Hey- I just premembered I want a hooker!-

    #6
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was a good write. It was very detailed lol. I think the last part explained it the most. I think it was a great moral. Hopefully people will follow that.
    mikki
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem speak the truth so clearly. One can't have sex in this manner and not pay an emotional high price tag, either by being label by friends and family, not to mention trying to mentally and Physically get truly close to anyone.

    excellent write
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      You're only 14 and you're writing this? Alrighty then, thanks for assuring us it wasn't from personal experience. I loved the moral at the end of the story...lol
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      you know me.... after 6 months of being away from this site, being able to view any poem ever written here, being the perv that i am, was magnetically drawn to the title of this poem ;). anyway, i thought it was very well worded... it seemed real. very dark stuff...
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
      i just re-read my comment and im sorry if it sounded harsh...i know that you turned the piece around in the end...but i guess im a little skeptical about idealising something that is so not idealistic in any way shape or form..and any woman who says that it was easy or even "really" enjoyable doing that work is kidding themselves...keep writing :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i liked the grammar you used...you made something so...bare...seem like it was dainty and an everyday event, normal...like it wasnt wrong...ya know what im saying? i loved the detail with the steps and the beginning of the seduction...that was a nice bit...i look at the other comments on here and i dont think your age reflects how you write...its like saying a 30 year old can write a better poem than a 13 year old ya know? since their older they have more experience...which is so not true...i know plenty of young people who have gone through hell and back, but still hold on strong and older people who dont know what its like to not have a home or food on the table...and vice versa i guess...prostitutes to me are braver than any man or woman who works in an office...they all have found their specialty and work hard for money...every time they get into some guys car, they're taking a risk...i like the way yoiu put this in first person also...gives the reader a feeling like they 'are' the hooker...


    Rhaine
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
      this had beautiful wordings and dramatic lines.
    Th thing i dont like about this piece is your so young and writing about things that public doesnt like to be mentioned.
    This was a damn good write though, i have one thing to say about it, and instead of actually using the proper names for the sex organs use something that rolls with the poem better. Dispite that great write.

    Keep up the good work.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem... well most of it... I didn't like the last stanze you threw in about shame years after... it ruins the whole point of your poem. It was something that I personally feel drags the poem down...
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Redstarr | [ Reply to This ]


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