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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Buried Alivedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elitegundam
    ASL Info:    25/M/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 68/90/20
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1376



    Description:
       I wrote this feeling not too bad, but thought of the original idea while depressed, so it's got a bit of both, I think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBuried Alivedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Six feet of dirt holding me down,
    trapped in a small wooden box in the ground.
    No escape from the cold, dark coffin of my mind.
    Looking for a way out, freedom from my thoughts,
    no light to see, no room to move.
    Each day I wake up,
    if feels like I've been buried alive.

    My body is decomposing, I'm falling apart,
    nothing to hold me together, I'm a mess.
    Worms of anger crawling through my corpse,
    maggots of hate slowly eathing me away.
    The nails of fear holding my prison together.
    Each day I wake up,
    it feels like I've been buried alive.

    Exveloped by darkness, no air to breathe,
    all I can do is lay and wonder what happened to me,
    my mind is dark, evil thoughts of death,
    sadness, depression, and suicide race behind my eyes.
    I'm not dead yet, how much longer, who can say.
    Each day I wake up,
    it feels like I've been buried alive

    Will I ever escape this cage surrounding my mind,
    the smell of fresh soil assulting my nose,
    I eagerly await the sound of hope,
    a shovel scraping stone, digging down, towards me.
    Will anyone be there to lift me from my hole in the gound.
    Each day I wake up,
    it feels like I've been buried alive




    Submitted on 2005-01-26 13:08:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A few spelling errors but nothing too distracting. It was great for the imagination, thumbs up. I could hear the sound of nails scraping the surface of wood, not the most appealing sound ever.

    Will I ever escape this cage surrounding my mind

    Fun line, it jumped out at me. Overall, well done, my friend.
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      love the descriptive imagery! this piece really does a great job of descibing the frustration and hopelessness of being stuck in a bad depression and feeling as if you have no control. when i was younger i often compared my depression to being buried alive and trapped behind a brickwall someone had built around me. i was almost moved to tears. thanx for the read! ash
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by foreverevolt | [ Reply to This ]
      sad sad poem here. the imagery is just great! i don't like all the hurt you have i wish i could help* i think that this poem is just way to powerfull to even look for things to critique. i love this piece i think you did an amazing job at writing what you feel like on a daily basis, well the bad days anyway***
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]



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