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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Teardrops of my heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elitegundam
    ASL Info:    25/M/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 68/90/20
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 238
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1399



    Description:
       I wrote this while thinking of my ex, and how much she hurt me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTeardrops of my heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Teardrops from my heart still fall
    the betrayal of a love, long lost
    I, me, my, nobody else to blame
    the fault must have been mine,
    but what did I do? How did I err?
    Was it enough to deserve this?

    Memories of lost love still come
    pain and hurt vist again
    Was it worth it, for her
    Does she regret her mistake
    or was our love dead long
    before she left my bed?

    Some day's I cant' think
    of anything else
    Hate and anger are my friends
    Why did I deserve abandonment
    Why did I ever think that I could
    trust a liar, a cheater
    a fraud.

    Once again the thoughts come back
    Was there ever any love
    or were we just two friends
    was I deceived when I thought she cared
    or did she just forget

    I used to want to hold her
    but now things have changed
    I think I'm in love again
    but am I? How can I tell
    Will I fu&* up again
    and ruin the second love I've had

    Time will tell, is it enough
    can I stand another broken heart
    red teardrops still fall
    when I think of my last love
    will that forever be my destiny
    Can I ever find someone to trust,
    to love, to hold and be with
    or will I forever be alone?




    Submitted on 2005-01-26 13:10:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow i totally relate to this.. i know just how u feel cuz the same things run thru my head 24/7 n it sucks i hope things get alot better for 4 cuz no one deserves to b hurt.. love is one of the best things in the world n once u lose it nothin seems right but wait n it will get better <3 ash
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel this is a good expression of your feelings and the honesty makes it that much better. I always say write from the heart and not the mind.
    Good Job
    !Doc~
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel like the last two stanzas are the strongest part of the poem... the first half is very good, but explore very common territory in a relatively common way, then, in the last two stanzas, you explore it in a fairly novel way, how does the heartache affect future love? I think you should expand that concept more. Great write though, even if you make no changes.
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      I have nothing to say about the structure or anything I love is and found no flaws.

    In time your tears will fade from red to pink and maybe one day you will be lucky and they will be clear. don't put the same worries into this new love. your now getting another chance though it is hard let the first girl go.

    "don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter"
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      wait a minute, something is odd here, have i read this already?? every word is very familiar. weird... i think that your emotions are running on high right now and it's apparent in this poem. there is some hatred here and why not, she hurt you beyond fixing. i hope you know that you are a great writer and deserve so much happines***

    Jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]



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