Description: silly love poem/song?...I know it's rough (and silly) but I thought I'd put it up for a little while anyway.
How -------------------------------------------
How can you love someone you hardly even know
How can a few words exchanged seal your fate
How can everything be as much as nothing
How can life go on so day by day
All I know is his eyes answer mine
His touch sends shivers up my spine
And when he smiles I can’t help but reply
I want to be near him all the time.
A glance of him makes my heart jump
His voice brightens my day
And even the things he does wrong
Can’t make me stay away.
And he’s always in my thoughts
And I see him in my dreams
And everyday I wait for him
To come closer to me
How can you love someone you hardly know?
With your heart and with your soul
While your mind is overwhelmed
Until you’re lifted off the ground
I guess it’s not very rational
In fact, it’s quite absurd
But reason’s never been my strong suit
And day by day
This my favorite piece of yours I've read so far. It's so simple and easy to read. It makes me smile. I attempted a poem along the same lines of barley knowingf someone and really loving them. Although satisifed with my poor attempt, I find your piece having more depth and power. Your rhyming is a little off. But you know, to me, if what you put down comes from your heart.. then it's the best work you'll even do. We're not out to change the world here (well, maybe some are lol) but if you can snag a heart with you writing line you've done great work. And you, you've got me with this one! Cheers!
Aww that was cute... well if I wasn't going through this same situation I would think it waas just the ordinary love poem. But when your going through it, and you read something like this, it just makes me smile to myself.
So, I really liked this. It was a cute little poem and the rhyming was refreshing. It seemed upbeat and fun, and I haven't read much stuff like this on here.
Well, that was really interesting! I know that you describtion was a little but discouraging "silly love poem/song?...I know it's rough (and silly) but I thought I'd put it up for a little while anyway.", but the poem is a good one, I mean it's not bad at all, I can't say it's great because it isn't! but it isn't bad at all!
First of all I want to put the light on a small thing, which is; I think the poem's name which is (How) is an indicator to a question so I think you need some question marks in the first stanza! Don't you think so?! I mean you didn't use any question marks in the first stanza saying "How can you love someone you hardly even know How can a few words exchanged seal your fate How can everything be as much as nothing How can life go on so day by day" But you came in the fifth stanza and used a question mark saying "How can you love someone you hardly know?"
I really liked the fifth stanza "How can you love someone you hardly know? With your heart and with your soul While your mind is overwhelmed Until you’re lifted off the ground"
I think the words used are very well chosen and totally suits the atmosphere of the poem, I think it was very emotional and sincere too.
And also the finale was a good one
"I guess it’s not very rational In fact, it’s quite absurd But reason’s never been my strong suit And day by day
My love won’t go away"
I think that was a smart finale, I mean you were totally honest with your self (and that's the most important thing), as you admit by saying "In fact, it’s quite absurd", and that was really good (in my point of view).
Anyway I hope my comment was somehow helpful to you, and I'll end by saying Good luck and keep it up.
Submission Name: How
