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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Plow and the Pauperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Memphis
    ASL Info:    21/f/Right Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 130/158/31
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 314
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 548



    Description:
       This is still a work in progress. It feels a little jittery and piecey. Tell me what you think. Anything that comes to mind.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Plow and the Pauperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to plow right through you,
    Slowly, Gently.
    So I can feel you feeling
    the quaking of your trembling lips,
    the unsteady shake of your nervous hands.

    I will take on your eyes
    To gaze at your reflection
    And then do it justice with fiery words
    That would make grown men blush.

    A picture will be taken
    of my foot next to yours.
    As a testament to my conquest.

    I will work to a pace set by your heartbeat
    Until my mission is complete.




    Submitted on 2005-01-26 23:08:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very interesting. Sexual undertones really drive this piece and keep it all too intriguing. The protagonist is truly a predator describing the hunt of her prey. A lion hunting Zebra so to speak. Very exciting reading here.

    I really enjoyed the part where this predator states that a picture will be taken of "her foot next to yours" as a testament of her conquest. That was really unique and filled my mind with alot of possibilities.


    Thanks for sharing this. Very nice writing.


    peace,
    mister fizzle
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...not exactly sure what has just taken place, or what the picture of the feet thing is (I'm sure to understand that would be to understand the piece) but to me the whole thing sounds rather seductive. Not sure if that is what you were going for, but if so, works for me...

    On the other hand, I wish there was some concrete phrase or line or two that could assist me in determining for sure what I'm reading. I will say, the words have a nice rhythm to them.
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]


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