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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: SWIMMINGdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rail
    ASL Info:    18-m-Washinton state
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 117/80/13
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 339
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 273



    Description:
       Just tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSWIMMINGdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The water is cold… at first.
    The water begins to warm…
    or is it me, am I becoming numb.
    The water seems so warm…
    then why does it hurt so much.
    Strange how swimming can be like life…
    it’s cold at first and then you go numb.




    Submitted on 2005-01-26 23:56:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is the second poem of yours I've read. I like the style. I like the comparison you use with the water . The ending is a nice touch.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey look it tis my own poem... Im such a freakin louser ^_^ bordeom dun dun dun. lots of random faces. mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    | Posted on 2005-02-14 00:00:00 | by Rail | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm. it's a nice peice. but i find it rather vague. when you said "The water begins to warm…
    or is it me, am I becoming numb."

    i dont think you'll feel anything if you're numb. well that's what i think. but it's still a pretty nice piece.
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by plue | [ Reply to This ]



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