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    dots Submission Name: As We Learndots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1287
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1222

       I've loved alot through my short life but I find it hard to let them love me back. I'm afraid of the flaws I harbor.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAs We Learndots

    Don't ask me to stay
    I cause only pain
    Stop with the tears
    See I've hurt again.
    This is only minor
    No scar affiliction
    It's better than wearing
    Love's stitches.
    So, let the tears race
    Let love purge from you
    As I learn to let go.

    It may take awhile
    To shake the terror
    Of being alone.
    Don't hang on wires
    Of silent telephones.
    As you stare in the mirror
    My wings full length
    Left my feathers
    In the bathroom sink
    My razor lingers
    My face is now clear.
    So, let the tears trail
    Let love surge for you
    Learn to forget ghosts
    As I learn what's real.

    Pull the comforter
    Over your head
    Whisper to yourself
    Lost endeavors once said.
    Let the cold kiss your skin
    As I use to do
    Heat us up in sin
    Plead the night to soothe.
    Inside the stars you hide,
    That radiate warmth
    I no longer provide.
    So, let the tears disappear
    Purge yourself of me
    Learn I won't reappear
    As I learn I'm not really free.

    Submitted on 2005-01-27 11:59:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very well written piece

    I kind of got a different rhytem from this piece then mentioned

    The feeling I got was you were writing this about your own life and your girlfriends or wifes life together and how it would change because your joining the marines or going off to war

    Sad but well written

    Know I for one Respect you immencly for fighting for our country

    God Bless You

    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      god that is so wierd. i know kinda how you feel with the not letting them love you. i still have that problem, and it drives my BF insane. he cant stad that whenever he thinks he's finally getting closer, i just seem even farther away. i guess it might just be the way i was brought up. any way, you did a real good job at getting then point through. to me though, it was a little fragmented. maybe i'll understand it better when im older.
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      The last stanza seemed to be even magical in a way...great flow...The theme is very actual in people's life, lost love, loneliness, dreaming meets reality, dissapointmet, that's all I see&feel in this exposition of your emotions. Yeah, and the imagery is just heavenly angelic...Greaaat poem! Thank a lot.
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by Dana | [ Reply to This ]
      hey great piece buddy. been waiting some time to see new stuff from you as im a big fan. the imagery here is very carpe diem style of a lyric, with an underlying refreshingly positive tone. i loved your word choices and diction- even though i usually only really like non- rhyming pieces i did like this one a lot. great to see a post from you- keep up the mad skillz brother.
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... I really liked this, I am definitely adding it to my favorites, it is just dripping with awesome imagery... My favorite parts were "love's stitches" and "heat us up in sin" and "my feathers in the sink" and... well hell, I just really like the whole thing! EXCELLENT work.
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece is beautifully written and conjures up a wide variety of emotions! it reminds me of my youth; when i was horribly depressed and self destructive but was rationalizing the world around me as if i were a disease. it also seems to express alot of frustration with the feeling of being trapped inside of your own head with these things and also feeling trapped by the mundane monotany of a world which seems to operate in quite a heartless manner. thanx for a great read. keep it up! ...ash
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by foreverevolt | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, I love this angelic theme that you have. The beat flows so well and the rhyming is just right. Great write! You're going on my favorites
    | Posted on 2005-01-27 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      I can understand this poem perfectly. Your description pretty much sums up how I feel myself. Therefore I really loved reading the poem, especially the first and the last stanza's.
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]

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