i love how you portray the moon as femine and the sun as masculine when you say "admired only/ when her brother/ is far away." i think it would be interesting to go into more comparisons and contrasts between the sun and the moon but its good as it is also
the title intrigues me.. i love anything about the moon... but then when i read the poem it really wasent about the moon to me so i was disapointed. but.. i liked the poem . i am like abort chaotic describe more about the brother.. sorry dont mean to offend just trying to help
Alright, a better description would be nice.. Wait I don't write descriptions I want people to get and leave with what the feel after reading my utterly bad poems. Haha, anyways I like the cold orbs. Brother? Hes gone? Why is he gone. Explain that with emotion.. and change the ending it stopped the flow.
Thanx for your comments oN silver hair the frien is a monket you find that out in the end its more of a kids story did not give it much thought it was just off the top of my head yours was a good write good topic as well sandman
i liked this little ode to brother sun and sister moon. short and to the point, like i like them. i like the description of her as admired only when her brother is far away. the sun outshines the moon in the morning light, and she fades away beneath his powerful rays. well done!